He Wears Combat Boots, I Wear Stilettos

Valentine's Day Fudge

2012-02-14T16:45:00.000-05:00

Today, I wasn't feeling good. I had planned on cooking a whole big meal for my husband but I simply just didn't feel up to dragging two kids who also don't feel good to the store to get groceries then come back and cook for four hours.

Thankfully, my husband is understanding and apparently has something in mind for dinner. So instead of cooking dinner I made some Valentines Day Fudge.

Some of you may know that I am now a pampered Chef consultant:) I have loved Pampered Chef products pretty much forever and my kitchen is filled with Pampered Chef. Their products are amazing and last forever! I have things my mom handed down to me that she got 20 years ago that still work perfectly. I'm kind of obsessed with cooking and baking so I LOVE kitchen things that not only work well but make cooking and baking easier as I lack time with two kids. SO....Before I share the pictures and recipe I wanted to let you know that under each picture I put what Pampered Chef products I used. Some of you might not care but some of you might which is why I will label them.

Without further ado...Peanut Butter Chocolate Fudge.... :)

Classic Batter Bowl

Start with 3/4 cup of Peanut Butter

Adjustable Measuring Spoon

Now get 1/2 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Now add it to the Peanut Butter

Easy Read Measuring Cup & Adjustable Measuring Spoon

Next get 2 cups of sugar and put it in a pot

Then, add 2 heaping tablespoons of Cocoa Powder

and 1/2 cup of Milk

Turn on medium heat

Grab a wooden spoon and stir until everything is mixed well.

Spoon Rest

Now, let your wooden spoon rest while you bring the pot to a heavy boil. Boil for 1 minute.

Now, pour this into your bowl.

spatula

Make sure to get every last drop out of the pot.

Stainless Steel Whisk

Whisk for 1 Minute until it is well mixed and gets thick. You can use a mixer but my kids were asleep so I didn't. Now, immediately pour into 8x8 pan.

Mine looks a little rough because it sat too long in the bowl while I took pictures. But I put some pink and red sprinkles on it.

Put it in the fridge to cool and harden then later...Enjoy:)

Stop Complaining

2012-02-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is people complaining about their kids. I see this so much on Facebook and hear this constantly when people talk about their kids.

Now let me say first that I get being a parent is hard. I have two kids with a husband who is gone on TDYs all the time. I take care of my kids 90% of the time by myself. I have a 2 year old who is in to everything and an 8 month old who nurses every two hours at night. I KNOW firsthand how hard it can be.

BUT I refuse to ever complain about my kids. I never sleep but guess what I'm not complaining. So many people can't have kids and I am more than thankful I have a baby to keep me up at night. Kids grow up so fast and I cherish every minute bad or good with my kids. Sure, I would love it if my Little Man would sleep through the night but I would never get upset or annoyed because he doesn't. He is just a baby and will only be a baby once...and to be honest I enjoy those sweet moments nursing him in the middle of the night.

I just don't get how so many people act like their kids are burdens. If you didn't want to be up all night or have to clean up after a toddler then you shouldn't have kids. Period.

It just makes me sick the way people complain about their kids. What if your kids grew up and knew you complained about them all the time...that would be awful.

Enjoy your kids and love them at EVERY minute...bad or good.

A Love Letter to My Son..

2012-02-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

Dearest Little Man,
From the moment I saw you on the sonogram screen and found out you were a little boy...I was in love. I can remember crying those tears of joy knowing that I had you inside of me. You were perfect even before I met you. I will be honest that I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't be able to share the love I have for your sister with you. Scared I wouldn't be able to raise a boy. Scared of everything.

But then...you were born. You entered the world with ease. Labor was simple and in three pushes...there you were. They laid you on my chest and you didn't cry. You just laid there looking up at me and secretly I think you didn't cry because you knew you were home. Home on your mamma's chest where you belong. I cried tears of joy that day too because you were so perfect. We snuggled there in that moment for what felt like a lifetime. I soaked in every minute. They let you lay there with me for 30 minutes before stealing you away to weigh and measure you. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. That day...I fell even more in love with you.

In the month following we struggled with breastfeeding but I never gave up and I will never give up on you in your life. I fought and I cried and I struggled but I kept pushing through to make sure I could give you the best nutrition possible and here we are now...8 months and going strong.

I hope that one day you will read this letter and know how much I love you. Even now, after 8 months, I still look at you and can't help but cry at how wonderful and sweet you are. I still can't believe you are mine.

I hope that in your life you are able to love people, all people, the way I love you. I hope that I can raise you to be a man of God and to treat woman with the upmost respect. You are such a blessing to me. You have brought me so much joy...and I can't thank you enough for that.

Some moms complain about being up all night but nursing you every two hours at night is not a burden. You are my baby and going without sleep is the least I could do to repay you for all of the sweet smiles you give me everyday. I love those quiet moments in the middle of night nursing you as you fall back to sleep.

It's amazing how God made you so perfect. I have never seen such a handsome little baby boy. You don't laugh, you squeal and it is the cutest thing in the world. When you nurse you look up at me and grab my face. When I enter the room you immediately smile at me and every time it melts my heart. Son, you are so beautiful...and I can't get enough of your sweet baby face.

I realize I'm rambling as I'm sure you know I always do but the point of all of this is that I want you know that I love you with the strongest most unconditional love. No matter how old you are I will never stop hugging you or kissing you..even in public. I will always be here for you for whatever you need. As you grow up I may not always agree with the choices you make in life but I will always support you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you and throughout your life I will always do whatever it takes to make sure you are happy.

You will always be my baby..even when you're 30.

"I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always
Forever and ever my baby you'll be"

Loving You Always,
Your mamma

Men....

2012-02-05T19:23:00.001-05:00

Let me start by saying I love my husband...a lot!! But boy...does he drive me up a wall sometimes. Anyone who has been following my blog for a while knows we've had some really rough times. Things are better now but they are still far from perfect but really who's marriage is perfect? Nobody! And if someone says theirs is they are lying.

I am not a perfect wife. But, I do try to make my husband happy at almost any opportunity. I try to make his favorites foods and bake his favorite cookies. I do all of his laundry. I fold his clothes. I constantly tell him thank you and that I'm proud of him. I'm not perfect. I get angry easily. I am sometimes very needy. But overall I'm easy to please. All I ask is to be loved. To be appreciated. And to be reminded of these things.

I have always been a hopeless romantic. I like obscure music. I am a lover of Nicholas Sparks Novels. I prefer gifts with thought put into them over expensive things. I love to snuggle. I am deep with a lot of feelings and often times known to be very sensitive. I am very cultured and don't care if you're black, purple, red, green or multicolored..I love all people the same. I care a lot about other people whether I know them or not. I am a humanitarian. I am the type of person who wants to save the kids in africa. ASPCA commercials make me cry. I have a big heart and I love deeply.

My husband is about as shallow as they come. He was born as raised in the mountains and is a self proclaimed redneck. He is not romantic. He thinks flowers are a waste of money. He thinks spending money on a nice ring for me is a waste of money(because he could buy a four wheeler with that money!). He wears Justin boots and cowboy hats. He only likes movies that make him laugh. He only reads books about people he likes. He only likes a few types of music. He's stuck in his ways and very close minded.

Now, I love my husband the way he is. But marriage is compromise. It's giving in to things you might not like that much to make your spouse happy.

When my husband and I were first together he was very loving. We kissed, we held hands, we snuggled. Now sometimes we go days without kissing....which is sad. We don't kiss unless I am the one initiating. We don't snuggle unless I snuggle up to him. He's never bought me flowers. He's never gotten me anything for Valentine's Day and has only gotten me one anniversary gift in three years. I've never gotten a birthday present from him..ever. I've never gotten anything for mother's day nor has he ever acknowledged it was mother's day. He's never told me I'm a good mom. He rarely says thank you. The only time I hear 'I love you' is when we hang up the phone. He never tells me I'm beautiful or pretty or anything. I guess where I'm getting with all of this is that I feel like he is my roommate and not my husband most days. I need to feel loved. I need to be reminded I'm loved in his actions and his words. I tell him these things over and over again but he just doesn't 'get it' and at this point I'm not sure he ever will. I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to just accept that this is how things will always be?

I was raised that woman should be treated like queens. That we deserve the world. I guess I just wish my husband would at least try to act like he likes me a little bit.

Bragging Rights

2012-01-31T15:09:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying how truly amazing Little Miss is. Sure, she has some delays but she is so very smart. All of her therapists have said how she excels in understanding. As many of you may recall we started potty training a week ago Sunday. By Tuesday both Little Miss and I were frustrated and stressed out so I left her in diapers and decided if she was ready she could take control. I stopped making her sit on the potty and wear undies. Let's call it... 'child led potty training'..

Well it worked. When Little Miss wants to do something she does it and doesn't let anyone or anything stop her. She has such a strong determination and a strong spirit. By tuesday evening she was back in undies per her choice and by wednesday she had went in the potty for the first time! Since then we have had zero accidents. She even used the potty at therapy yesterday. The only time she is wearing diapers is at bedtime and nap time. I am so beyond proud of my girl for being accident free for over a week. She is so amazing!!!!!!

Ya know, as a parent I hate seeing Little miss struggle. I hate that she has so many doctor's appointments and therapy sessions but the truth is she wouldn't be who she is if she didn't have these things. Like I've said a million times before she is perfect just the way she is. She is beautiful and smart and sensitive. She's silly, and goofy, and sometimes overdramatic. She's shy but sweet and so very loving.

I wouldn't change her for the world.

Tired...

2012-01-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of being alone. I miss my friends. It took me years at this base to make good friends and two of my closest and have already moved away. Recently, we went to visit my home state and I got to see some of my best friends I hadn't seen in so long and it was wonderful and sad because I miss them so much. It's a friday night and I'm alone. Babies are sleeping and it's just me singing at the top of my lungs to show tunes in my bathroom. What an exciting life I have...

I want a close girlfriend who doesn't mind staying in and watching a movie. Someone who can go running with me. Someone who loves my kids. Someone who doesn't mind doing kid friendly activities. Someone I can be silly with. Someone who will sing show tunes at the top of their lungs right along with me. Someone who I can snuggle on the couch with and cry to a chick flick with. Blah....all of these things remind me of the girl I was best friends with for so many years who lives in my home state..I miss her and I miss having close girl friends.

Debt Advice..please?

2012-01-27T14:12:00.000-05:00

So I filed our taxes the other day and cannot wait to get our return! A big chunk of it is going to pay off all debt in my name. So...does anyone have any advice for improving a credit score once you pay off the delinquent accounts? I've heard of people getting those negative accounts off of their credit and want to know how? I want to know what I need to do to fix my credit once everything is paid off...

We need a new car. badly. One with low payments and low miles. But...right now I can't approved for a loan. I have no income and bad credit. I just want to my debts, improve my credit, and get a new car...

A Peek into Little Miss' Bathroom

2012-01-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

Do you know what time it is?? It's POTTY TRAINING TIME! Wish us luck:)

We've got our special potty books, our basket of prizes/stickers, and our potty chart conveniently located right next to our bedtime routine. Little Miss and I had a mamma daughter date to target where we ate popcorn and shared an icee while picking out which awesome big girl undies Little Miss wanted. She had her heart set on the boys toy story ones but boy's undies are made different so we had to pick girl's ones and we ended up with Dora undies. She was so excited when we got home she had to put them on and show daddy right away. From 5pm until 8 when she went to bed she was on the potty about 5 times. She stayed dry until right before bed when she peed in her pants. She is in a diaper for the night and we will begin again tomorrow. She is already so excited about potty training! It's going to be tough because I can't keep her home to potty train because of all of her appointments and therapies but hopefully it will all work out as it should.

My husband made some money selling his motorcycle so today we went and bought new running shoes for both of us and I am SO excited to finally have shoes that fit and our comfortable. I cannot wait to get out and go running to test them out! Overall, today was a GREAT day!

Passion

2012-01-18T21:24:00.000-05:00

From the time I was young I have loved to sing. Music is something that I can get lost in and it is the best way I know to express my emotions. I sang in choir from the time I was in grade school all the way into college. I was in musicals but never got more than a chorus part. Acting is something I have talent in and always got great parts in plays but what I always wanted was a lead in a musical or a solo in choir. There is just nothing like singing in front of people and sharing my emotions through my voice. I have a such a passion for vocal music...I just wish I had the God given talent that so many others have.

Americal Idol has been one of my favorite shows since it began 11 years ago. As much as I love Idol...every time I watch it...it makes me a little sad. I envy the beautiful voices so many have been given and just wish I had the same talent. I sing to my kids and I sing in the shower and that's about the extent of my performing. If I could sing for a living I would be the happiest person ever. There just isn't much that brings me as much joy as singing music.

The older I get the more I wish I had a place in the singing world. It's not just a little kid dream for me, but a passion. A passion I wish I had talent to back up.

The Good Life...

2012-01-05T22:25:00.000-05:00

Close friends moving away. Teething baby boy. Constantly cleaning. Sleep Deprivation.

These things are my life right now and the reason I've been neglecting all of you. The thing is even though life is kind of crazy right now...I can't help but be thankful. Thankful that I have friends to miss. Thankful that I have my baby boy and that he is growing and developing right on time. Thankful, that I have a house to clean. Thankful that I have kids to keep me from sleeping. Thankful, I have a sweet baby boy with big, beautiful eyes, to stare up at me as he nurses in the wee hours of the night. My life is crazy....crazy sweet:) and I am LOVING it.

Beautiful You

2011-12-29T23:03:00.000-05:00

This is the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Well, in my world at least. I don't normally post pictures of my kids but today...is an exception. This little girl needs to be celebrated. It's been a hard and long 2 and a half years of life for her but she is progressing so well. She says so many words although we are still working on two word combinations. She will repeat just about anything you ask her to but conversing on her own has been the hard part but these days she is getting better and better. She now says 'Sippy' when she wants a sippy cup and when the phone rings she says 'Rama' assuming it's Grandma(my mom) on the other end. She says so many words. I would bet she says about 50 words on her own. She has her animal sounds down. She is learning her colors and close to getting them.

Little Miss is such a blessing in our family. Her beautiful blue eyes can make any dark day bright. Her smile can light up a room. Her name means 'The bright one' because she is the sunshine in our family. She is sometimes hard to deal with but she is sweet as sugar. She gives lots of hugs and kisses and is always saying 'I of oo" (I love you). This little girl is so perfect in every way. The love I have for her consumes every piece of my being and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

On Tuesday, her behavioral specialist suggested I get a referral to have an MRI of her brain done and get her referred to see a neurologist. I believe these are important steps to take but they are scary. The road ahead in this journey is long and emotionally draining but I would do anything for Little Miss. I wish I could take all of this away from her and go through it myself so that she wouldn't have to but I can't so instead I will try to be strong for her and hold her hand every step of the way. I don't care how many more doctors or therapy or whatever...we will do it if it will help her. She is my world. She is my whole world and I love her. I hope she grows up knowing how much I love her.

Kindle Cover..Help me Choose!!

2011-12-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

Let me know which one is your favorite!!!

Good News

2011-12-27T21:31:00.000-05:00

In two weeks our family is heading back to my home state:) I have not been back since July of 2010 and I am so excited! We found SUPER CHEAP plane tickets and my dad paid for the time being(we are paying him back). It was only $292 round trip for all of us. So that's three plane tickets since Little Miss is over 2 years she has to have her own seat but Little Man is a lap child...so 3 round trip tickets for 292....awesome!

I am just out of control excited right now. I miss my friends and family. I miss my favorite chinese restaurant. I miss my old church. I miss my high school. I miss it all and I cannot wait to be back to my roots. It's been a long time and I am so ready to go back!

Next on the agenda...to find someone to drive us to and pick us up from the airport as well as find someone to watch our dog for a week...hmm...

Crazy Crazy

2011-12-27T08:43:00.000-05:00

Wow, my last post was on December 8th. My apologies. Sometimes it seems life gets ahead of me and unfortunately my blog suffers.

Well, on December 14th my husband had his long awaited(like 3 years waited) hip surgery. One my friends watched Little Miss while Little Man and I took husband to the hospital. He had to be there by 11am and his surgery took a few hours itself. His surgery was over by about 5:30 or so then he spent about two hour sin recovery before they told us we could go home. He was feeling very and and very out of it when they told us we could go and come to find out he was actually supposed to stay at the hospital overnight but oh well...we survived. I am so thankful for my friend R, who watched Little Miss. She kept her all day then brought Little Miss as well as dinner for us home after I got Husband situated on the couch. She is such a wonderful friend and I'm going be so sad when she PCS's to England in less than a month.

The first two weeks were the hardest because my husband was confined to the couch and couldn't do much of anything so I had the kids 24/7 by myself except I also had to take care of my husband. It was rough and I was so sleepy. Now, in week 3, I am feeling a little more rested and my husband is more able to help with kids although he is still in pain. He is now able to walk without crutches but limps very badly. Sometimes he uses one crutch when he is in a lot of pain.

Things have been pretty crazy around my house with his surgery and then Christmas sneaking up on us. Our Christmas ended up being pretty great and I am so thankful for everything we received as well as the things we were able to provide for our children and each other. I wasn't going to list what I got but I do want to give a special shoutout to my husband for giving me a kindle!! I've been wanting a kindle for a long time as I'm kind of a huge bookworm. I wanted just the normal one as the reason for getting it is to read books.. not surf the web and watch movies and my husband listened to me and got exactly what I wanted. His gift hasn't arrived yet but will be here today thankfully and I am so excited for him to get it. We spoiled our kids a bit(although we didn't spend a lot because I am AWESOME at finding deals) and they loved everything. My favorite gift we got was Little Miss' kitchen. It's something as a family we have played with since she opened it and I am loving that so much!

We were sad to not be surrounded by family on Christmas but we are thankful to have my husband home. I cooked a Turkey as well as sides and we enjoyed a delicious Christmas dinner just the four of us. We've been doing a lot of relaxing and playing since Christmas and it has been wonderful.

I have so many more things to tell you all but will save them for another day! I hope you all had a great Christmas! I am really looking forward to New Years as it will be the first one Husband and I have spent together since right after we got married. :)

What's in a Ring?

2011-12-08T18:52:00.002-05:00

I recently read a post from Eat Pray Love Live that inspired me to talk about my wedding rings and my thoughts on the matter.

When my husband and I got married we had $500 to buy rings for me. I didn't know much and ended up getting a cheapo set from JC Penney. Looking back I wished I would have shopped around a bit more but it is what it is. I didn't get a big fancy engagement or my dream ring. Growing up I always said I would not settle. I would get my fairytale. Well, life happened and these things didn't happen. I was 9 weeks pregnant and my Fiance was leaving for the Air Force ten days after our wedding date. Our wedding was in a courthouse.

My rings came in the mail two days before we got married. When I got them I was a little letdown. My wedding band was nothing but an illusion band. No diamonds. It doesn't even look like it has diamonds. My engagement ring was pretty with a princess cut diamond sitting on an illusion band. My rings weren't anything flashy but they were pretty because they were mine. They symbolized so much love and for that I was happy.

Then there was a time I was 6 months pregnant with Little Miss. My rings had always been too big but everyone told me not to get them sized because my fingers would swell with pregnancy. Well, my fingers didn't swell and one night after shopping and dinner I realized my engagement ring was gone. I never even felt it fall off. I remembered having it at the restaurant but when I got home it wasn't there. I went back to the restaurant and tore the house apart looking but it was gone.

So my mom gifted me a diamond ring she found on the beach we got married at ten years before and it is the engagement ring I wear to this day.

I love my rings for what they symbolize but I do believe every woman should have their dream ring one day. I truly feel that spending money on ring is a sign of commitment. That is why we have engagement rings after all. My husband thinks it's stupid to spend money on a ring. He'd rather spend it on a four wheeler. I'm not materialistic but a ring is something I really desire. There is one in particular I fell in love 3 years ago right after we got married. It's beautiful and about a thousand dollars...which is way out of our budget. I will probably never get a new engagement ring but I hope one day my husband is sweet enough to get one for me. I am still so sad I lost my original one but I am grateful to have rings on my finger at all. I don't need my husband to spend a bunch of money to show me his love but man it really would be a selfless act of him to do. And without further ado...my dream ring...

I am drooling just looking at this picture. It is fabulous. So here's to rings and shiny things...Happy Thursday!

Have you entered my giveaway yet?? Click Here! Ends tomorrow night!

Unconditional Love

2011-12-08T10:00:00.001-05:00

When I look at my kids I don't see the messes they make or the sleepless nights. I don't see the crying fits or the puke. I don't see dirty diapers.

When I look at my kids I see perfection. I see beauty. I see my heart. But most of all...I see love. Unconditional love.

I never understood what exactly unconditional love was until I had my kids. My love for them is so overwhelming it brings me to tears. They are my whole world. They are my day and my night. They are a piece of me and a piece of my husband. No matter what my kids do in life I will always love them. Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING they could ever do would make me not love them. I may not always be pleased with their choices as they grow up but I will always love them regardless. I am their mom which means I am their friend, cook, maid, biggest cheerleader, and their constant support. They have and will always be my priority. The love I have for them consumes everything I do.

My love for my kids is unconditional and will always be there no matter what. They are the sweetness in a crazy life and a sunshine that lights up a dark sky.

Thank You Sears

2011-12-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

We love Sears. My husband is a Tool fanatic and always buys all of his Craftsman tools at Sears. Well last year when it was too late I heard about the Sears Heroes At Home Program and could not wait to sign up for it this year. We are very strapped for cash due to our vacation to see family and hadn't even started Christmas Shopping so I was thrilled when we received our gift card from Sears. With the combination of the gift card, a coupon code, and shop your way rewards we only paid $24.87 for this...

Little Miss is going to FREAK when she sees this next to the Christmas tree. I am so excited and so thankful to Sears for making this present possible. This is the one thing we really wanted to get her and we didn't think it was going to be possible but thanks to all of those who donated and to Sears we are able to make our sweet girl's Christmas a special one.

Merry Christmas to Me:)

2011-12-06T20:33:00.001-05:00

So I did some cheapo shopping using money from things I've sold on ebay and credits I had to buy myself a few lovely things and I couldn't help but come here to show them off:)
First are the things I got from One Kings Lane. I'm kind of obsessed with this website and right now when you sign up you get a $15 credit(must spend at least $30). They have the most beautiful things and although some is pricey they usually have things for super cheap too. So without further ado....the pictures...

Their boxes are always packed so well and so cute!

All of my dishes came in boxes that I can reuse to pack them in when we move again or just to store them in when not in use.

Beautiful light pink plates with gold designs. I can just imagine Little Miss and I having many tea parties on these plates.

My ADORABLE retro bowls. I got two sets:)

Also, with every order I've gotten a free candle which smells AMAZING!

One Kings Lane is such an awesome website. I am mildly obsessed. I paid next to nothing for everything you saw above using my $15 credit. You can sign up here.

And now from a website called Open Sky. This website is similar to One Kings Lane because they have great deals on designer items but it is so cool because you can 'follow' different people(like Cake Boss, Kristan Cavalleri, Jilian Micheals..etc) and browse items they've picked to be on sale. When I signed up I got a free credit so I got this next little present for almost free...you can sign up here.

The make of this is Emilee Henry and it sells for $40 on Amazon! It was on sale for $29 plus my credit so I got it for almost nothing!

I now have a beautiful place to keep my Olive Oil right next to pasta:) Oh and that is my One Kings Lane candle in the background. And the past container for anyone curious was thrifted from Goodwill for $2:)

I am so excited about all of my new kitchen pretties!

(sorry for the bad pictures. I was too lazy to get my camera so I just used my iphone)

Have you entered my $50 giveaway yet? ENTER HERE!

Cake for Christmas? Giveaway!

2011-12-05T18:37:00.002-05:00

Okay so I have this slight obsession with everything cake scented. Maybe it's because of my love for baking but I just love the smell of cake! So when I got the email from EdenFantasys about their line of cake scented products I got SO excited! This might be a post you want to pass on to your husband so he can get you some yummy smelling Christmas presents or use this one for you!

In case you didn't know EdenFantasys is the web's premium seller of sex toys, lingerie, bath and body, and many other things! I have personally ordered from their website and have had a great experience every time. The shipping is fast and the box is very discreet so your mail man won't have any idea what you're up to:) Right now they have an awesome sale! When you buy any bath and beauty products you get a free Beach towel! Plus with every order you always get a free gift! and use code T6Q to save 15%!

Some of the goodie I am just drooling over....
(Click the pictures for more information)

So now that you know what I am loving right now it's time I share some of this with you!! SO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY to win a $50 EdenFantasys giveaway!

RULES:

1. You MUST be a follower.

2. You MUST leave a comment saying what you would like to see more of at He Wears Combat Boots as we enter into the new year.

Extra Entries:(Leave a comment for each)

1. 'Like' Hewearscombatboots on Facebook

2. Follow me on Twitter @Lenapenaa

3. Add my Etsy store to your Favorites

Contest will run until Friday December 9, 2011 at 11:59pm EST.

Puppies vs. Babies

2011-11-19T04:01:00.001-05:00

This post brought to you by Puppies vs. Babies. All opinions are 100% mine.

There is this hilarious awesome contest going on to find out who's cute; puppies or babies? The Puppies vs. Babies online contest is also a chance to win $5,000. So go vote for your favorite puppy or baby!!

Now I have both a puppy and two babies. It is tough to say which is cuter. My babies puke on me, poop on me, pee on me...and well those things....are not cute. My babies cry and scream and need constant attention...again not so cute.

While my puppy cuddles with me. Although, she is constantly wanting me to through her ball...not cute.

Some babies look like little aliens and some puppies look just weird. My puppy actually looks kind of weird but she has a face only her mamma could love:) Unfortunately for my puppy I think my vote has to go to babies...all of the pooping, puking, and peeing included.

Here is my puppy....back when she technically was a puppy...

Pretty hard to beat that cute face!! Puppies are so cute! So who would you vote for... Puppies vs. Babies? Let me know in the comments who YOU think is cuter and then go vote!!

Saying Goodbye

2011-11-16T22:17:00.000-05:00

Today I said goodbye to someone who might as well have been my sister. I've only known her for a little bit shy of a year and she has already become my best friend. It's rare I find someone who 'gets me' and who I truly love and connect with. She is the most caring and sweet person and I love her so much. She has been there for me through everything and I don't know what I would have done without her. I know that leaving is what is best for her but I am so sad to see her go. Today has been a hard day. My kids love her so much. Little Miss is so attached to her. She loves my kids like they are her own.

All I can do is cry because I know she'll no longer be a 30 minute drive away.

That Old Machine

2011-11-14T12:59:00.000-05:00

That old machine has seen so much in it's life. This machine was my mom's and has now been passed down to me. I can remember my mom sewing all of our Halloween costumes. She always took so much time to makes us look our best. She made amazing costumes! Everything from a ladybug, to an M&M, to a bear, etc etc...

She also made pillows and curtains. She sewed so much and made such a beautiful creations. From a young age I loved sewing. She taught me to hand stitch and to embroider. One night I had one of my best girl friends over for a sleepover. My mom took us to the fabric store and let us pick out fabric. When we got home she helped us makes pajamas for ourselves as well as for our teddy bears. We stayed up until 3am sewing and it is one of those childhood memories I will never forget.

As I got older she continually taught me how to use this machine and now that I am a mom she decided to pass it down to me. This machine sewed over 20 years of home decor items, halloween costumes, and pajamas and now will get to sew more memories for my kids.

My first task was Little Miss' Halloween Costume and today I finished a paci clip for Little Man using some clearance grey and white houndstooth fabric.

I am so excited to be using the machine my mom used all my life and look forward to the many things I can make with it.

Do you have an item that has been passed down in your family?

Different & Beautiful

2011-11-13T21:23:00.000-05:00

She's Different...and Beautiful just the way she is. My Little Miss is who I'm talking about of course. She is a different little girl. She is NOT your normal two and a half year old. She prefers quiet time to play time. She prefers to be by herself then with other kids. She would much rather sit and read a book then watch tv.

This weekend four of my friend's kids had birthday parties(one party was a set of twins). So 3 parties in two days. It was a a lot for my kids but we had so much fun. Today the party was at this place where they have all inflatable things like slides, obstacle courses, and bounce houses. I was so excited to take Little Miss. I couldn't wait to play with her there! Well, she wasn't too thrilled. She kept to herself. She didn't want to play much. She chose to play with a colored plastic ring(sort of like a hula hoop) instead of on all of the fun stuff around her. This is Little Miss. She was overwhelmed with all of the kids and noise. The occupational therapist said that this behavior is most likely due to a sensory issue.

I love my quiet Little Miss. I was a little sad she didn't want to go down the slides over and over or go through the obstacle course.

But there Little Miss and I sat in the middle of the noise and craziness...playing with a colored ring. I love my Little Miss. Just the way she is.

Dollar General Supports our Veterans

2011-11-13T02:50:00.001-05:00

This post brought to you by DollarGeneral. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am a military wife. My husband is more than just the father of my children and them man I fell in love with...he's also my hero. He, like many other veterans and active duty, puts his life on hold and works long hours to maintain our country's freedoms. There are so many men and woman serving our country and those that have served that deserve so much thanks and appreciation. Every year when veteran's day rolls around I have such a heavy heart. I think about those who fought in World War II or those who lost their lives in the War on Terror. It's amazing the sacrifice our military men and woman have and continue to make. I, myself, could never be in the military. I am not strong enough but I commend those that have joined and served. It is truly an amazing thing! So this Veteran's day please take the time to thank a veteran.

Dollar General is taking great strides in supporting our Veterans. Right now, you can go watch or record and upload a video of thanks to our veterans right on the Dollar General Facebook Page. This is is such an awesome idea which I know will mean a lot to those who have and continue to serve. The coolest thing Dollar General is doing is they have Care Packages for military!! These care packages have free shipping as well! AND to top it all off there is a 10% discount in store on Friday November, 11 for all Veterans, Active Duty Military, and Military family members. If you'd rather shop online anyone can use the coupon code 'VETERANSDAY' at checkout to save 10%. Anyone can use the online coupon code and it is valid from November 11 until November 13. I highly recommend you take advantage of these cool opportunities. Any company that supports our military is a company I can get behind!! Enjoy the Dollar General's Veteran's Day discount and buy a care package or two! Happy Veteran's Day everyone!!

Obessions

2011-11-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

I am obsessed with anything for my kitchen. From bowls, to dishes, to untinsels, to appliances, to anything inbetween. Not too long ago I ordered these bowl from One Kings Lane for super cheap with a $15 credit

And today I got these...

Right now when you sign up for One Kings Lane you can get a FREE $15 credit. And you can click here to see where I got those adorable bowls and plates...They have tons of stuff under $10 and especially under $15 so you can get something for super cheap. All you have to do is sign up and spend $30 to use your $15 credit. This would be great to treat yourself or start shopping for Christmas. They have new sales everyday at 11am and always have adorable stuff!

I just ordered my mamma's Christmas presents as well...here is what I got her all for only $24.95 including shipping with a $15 credit...

Supe cute right?!!!! I am in LOVE! My mom is going to be so excited :) I have been selling clothes on Ebay like crazy to get ready for Christmas shopping because I always shop online and get super cheap or Free deals..Thank God for paypal:) I am the queen of great gifts for cheap at Christmas and my husband LOVES that about me.

CLICK HERE if you wanna sign up and get your $15 credit!

Saturday Fun

2011-11-05T17:46:00.000-04:00

I HATE Money

2011-11-03T09:33:00.000-04:00

I hate money. Plain and Simple. Sure, I love the things it can buy me but I HATE the way it separates people. I'll be honest, my husband was just promoted to Senior Airman so we are making a bit more money than we were but we are STILL broke. I have friends whose husband's make more or the same and they always have money to spend but I never do and I hate that. I hate that I can't go out to lunch with the girls because I can't afford it. I hate that I feel guilty about getting invited to a friend's kid's bday party because I can't afford to buy a gift. I'm so sick of money. I'm so sick of it preventing fun in our lives. I'm sick of it separating me from hanging out with my friends.

Some people seem to think that the military pays well and sure, it pays pretty good I guess considering this economy. I've read posts by other saying that if a military family is broke then they obviously don't know how to handle money...which is crazy.

We are currently paying on debt. We have a car payment which we wouldn't have if not for me being hit by an uninsured drunk driver. This happened right around the time I started this blog and I only had liability insurance. So we had to buy a car. Thankfully we put $6,500 down and only owe less than half of the final price still but 300/month is A LOT! My husband rides a motorcycle to work to save on gas. We paid cash for his bike so no payment there thankfully. We also have debt we can't afford to pay on. We have never had a family vacation other than roadtrips to visit family. We never had a real honeymoon. Yes, we like to eat out but we rarely do. Yes, we love to shop but again....we never do. I haven't had my hair cut in over a year.

So....where does our money go? Well, rent is a lot. 1175 a month. yay for living in an expensive city! We actually got a great deal on rent considering the size of our house and location. Then there's the 300/month car payment I mentioned. Then some debt we're paying and and car insurance...that's another 250/month. Plus bills. Electricity has been anywhere from 160-200/months thanks to this awful heat. I turn our A/C off as much as possible but if the kids are sweating I'm not going to keep it off. Plus cable/internet/home phone...another 105/month....I've though about doing away with cable once husband deploys but I feel like that will just make me even more lonely at night after the kids are in bed. The reason we have a home phone is so that we can use that instead of our cell phone to reduce our cell phone bill which is 150/month. Yes, we have a high cell phone bill. We have iphones. Living out of our means having iphones? maybe. but I will NOT give up iphones. Because with an iphone you can skype no matter where you are in the world as long as you have a wifi connection. My husband is always gone TDY so this let's us communicate. It means the kids can see and talk to daddy and THAT is more important than having a lower cell phone bill. Plus we enrolled Little Miss in dance which is helpful for her development and is 40/month. She also does a music class which is about 30/month. Then add in gas in my gas guzzler of car plus groceries and other expenses I forgot to mention....No add all that up and it's more than we make. Fabulous.

I am a coupon queen. If I wasn't we would rarely have enough food. We also get WIC...judge away.

I am constantly selling on ebay and trying to get my etsy shop off the ground and whatever else I can do to get some extra dolla bills. My husband is deploying in december and he hasn't been home to see his family in a year. BUT I have no clue how we will afford to drive 15 hours up there to see them. We are supposed to go over Thanksgiving but the numbers are against us. I am stressed to the max. I also have 3 kid's birthday parties in the next couple weeks and NO money to buy gifts. My friend's always get my kids and I awesome gifts and I feel so guilty. Do I still attend even if I can't bring a gift. The gas to get out to the base where the parties are is also a huge expense for me. I hate money. Anybody know how to grow a money tree?

Speechless

2011-11-02T20:35:00.000-04:00

[I made Little Miss' costume:) ]

Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween

Deployment #2 & My Birthday

2011-10-30T10:07:00.000-04:00

In April 2010 I was searching for comfort. I was searching for help. I was searching for a place to vent. And that is when I decided I would start this blog. It has been there for me in some of the lowest places over the course of time and I want to thank you all so much for your kind comments and advice. This blog got me through Deployment #1 and now it's time for a Deployment #2...

I realize I have kind of screwed up my 31 Days series and took a bit of a bloggy break. A Week ago last friday night/saturday morning my husband went on a TDY to Alaska and then on Tuesday morning my mom came into town. My husband's trip got extended due to his plane breaking and he didn't get back until late Thursday night which was also my 23rd Birthday.

My mom wanted to make my birthday really special so she took the kids, my best friend, and I to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. It was delicious! We laughed and ate and had a fabulous time. During that lunch my friend said in passing, "So, how are you doing with [Insert my husband's name here] deployment coming up?"

I looked at her with a look of shock and confusion. I had no idea what she was talking about. What's ironic is before this lunch I had just been having a conversation with my mom about how I had a feeling Husband would not be here for Christmas. Well, needless to say I was right. My friend's spouse works with Husband and they are deploying together. She felt terrible about spilling the beans before Husband told me but I was happy she did....even if it was on my birthday. Later that night I picked my husband up from the base from his TDY and asked him about it. He said he didn't want to tell me over the phone and certainly not on my birthday. I understood. So mid December Husband heads away for four months. I am sad. I am scared.

I have two kids now. I will not be living at mom's like I did last time. I will be alone. And to add to that two of my closest friends are moving away. One is leaving in December and one is leaving in January. So I will be really, really alone. I have other friends, thankfully, but I am so sad to see these girls go. I really don't know how I will get through this deployment without them. They have both become such important parts of my life.

But I guess that's how this military lifestyle goes. When you make amazing friends they move away. When your husband and you work out problems and begin to rekindle your love...he leaves. I'm sad for myself, to be without him. But more than that I'm sad for my kids. Husband will miss seeing Little Miss' face light up on Christmas morning. He will miss watching his son experience Christmas for the first time. He will miss Little Man began to crawl and maybe even walk. He might even miss Little Miss' 3rd Birthday. Thank God, I have a video camera. Now, I just need to figure out how to hook it up to my computer.

One of the girls that's moving has literally became my best friend. She is also, the one who spilled the beans about deployment. She is very close with my kids. They love her to death. She doesn't have kids of her own so she spoils mine like crazy. She is the only person outside of family who has ever babysat my kids. They love her and she loves them. I really hate that she is leaving. We will all miss her so much. It's not her fault she's leaving though. Nor, is it the military. It's her husband. He did some terrible, terrible, things and failed to see how beautiful and wonderful his wife is. He has no idea what he is losing. She is a fabulous person and will always be my best friend...not matter how far away she lives.

So I guess that's my update. More to come tomorrow...

31 Days of Love Day 15: Yummy Lasagna

2011-10-23T20:40:00.000-04:00

So after 3 years of marriage I finally made one of my husband's favorite food. I've been trying really hard to cook good meals for him lately and he was so excited when I made lasagana. I have never liked lasagna until I tried this recipe...So without further ado...here are the pictures...

I also made the garlic cheesy bread which was a lot harder than it looks. Both recipes were pretty easy but VERY time consuming. It took me about 3 and a half hours to cook dinner but wow was it worth it!! You can see the recipes HERE and HERE. Thanks to the pioneer woman for these amazing recipes.

31 Days of Love Day 14: Love for My Pup

2011-10-23T16:16:00.001-04:00

When I was six months pregnant I fell in love with a wrinkled, 3 pound, brown puppy. She was the sweetest little girl ever and I had to have her.
Fast forward to today...she is nearly 3 years old(birthday in november) and is the best dog ever. Okay, so I might be a bit biased but seriously she is awesome! She is Little Miss' best friend and our watchdog. She knows when I'm sad and comforts me. She knows when I'm happy and is ready to play. She is wonderful and I can't imagine life without her.

Well, a couple weeks ago I was contacted by a wonderful lady from Animal Planet. She sent us a costume and asked us to try it on Jasmine and take a picture for their costume contest. Jasmine loves costumes so I didn't hesitate. She looks super cute in her costume so now I'm asking all of you to go vote for her! Click here or on the pictures to vote... You must vote for the pups before her to get to her picture. Vote her a 10!!! If I win I get to do a guest post on Animal Planet's blog which would be simply amazing! This dog is so wonderful and deserves to win...I mean come on...look at that face:)

31 Days of Love Day 13: Winner and Surprises

2011-10-15T16:44:00.000-04:00

Surprises are one of the best acts of love. The person has no idea it's coming. It's thoughtful and sweet. I have always said how I hate surprises but in reality...I love them. I love that someone took time out of their day to do something nice for me. The other day my husband surprised me by doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Talk about AWESOME! It's the little things :)

and NOW the winner of my giveaway..... for the wreath pictured is.....

Jennie from the blog Our Family of Three

Please email me asap with your address so I can ship it out to you on Monday!!

and for anyone who didn't see it before you can use code HEWEARSCOMBATBOOTS10 for 10 percent off in my Etsy shop. Also, I do custom orders so if there is one of my wreaths you like but would like it in a different color/size/style please let me know!

31 Days of Love Day 12: An Open Letter to My Daughter

2011-10-12T23:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Little Miss,
It was a little over 3 years ago when I read that positive pregnancy test at the young age of 19. I was scared. I had only known daddy for a few months. I wasn't ready for you but I loved you. I loved you the moment I knew you existed. I loved you so much that I decided to keep you and to marry daddy. He loved you so much when I told him about you. We married and daddy left for the air force ten days later. I lived with grandma and spent my days talking, singing, and reading to you. You were my whole world long before you were even born. Every time I felt you kick it brought me so much joy. I started buying boy clothes because I was sure you were a boy. I wanted a boy so badly but when I picked daddy up from the airport for his two week exodus leave from tech school we opened the envelope. It was the same envelope that my doctor had written your gender in. When we opened the envelope and it said "girl" we both cried. We were so happy. I loved you even more that day. You were our little baby girl and we wouldn't have changed a thing.

A couple days before Daddy had to return to Texas your great grandma became ill. She was in the hospital and had been diagnosed with cancer. It was all through her body and there was nothing the doctors could do. She loved you so much and was always talking to you whenever we were together. That week I'm sure you remember mommy being very sad because after we dropped daddy at the airport we rushed back to the hospital to find out your Great Grandma had had a stroke and was no longer able to talk or use half of her body. Mommy was so sad. That day she rubbed you in my belly. She was trying to tell me something and to this day I believe she was saying she loved you. She kept rubbing you and pointing to her heart. Oh, Baby girl, I wish you could have met your great grandma. She was a wonderful woman and would have loved to been able to watch you grow up. She loved you so much and she never even got to meet you. When she passed away a week after entering the hospital, mommy cried a lot. I know that probably scared you, sweet girl. But know, your great grandma is watching over you from Heaven. She will always be there and she will always love you.

In December of 2008 we got a puppy, Jasmine. Jasmine was only 3 pounds and she used to snuggle my belly just to feel your heart beat. It was comforting for her and she loved you so much. Jasmine was the protector of my belly and was always watching over you and I. She instantly had a bond with you when you were in my belly and when you came out the bond only grew.

In March of 2009 we moved to our first duty station far away from family and friends. I'm sure you remember the bumpy 30 hour ride in the uhaul. It was miserable. When we got here it was hot and stressful but beautiful none the less. Mommy had to get new doctors and had to find a hospital for you to be born in. In that month before you were born I unpacked and set up your room. I was so excited for you and kept wishing you would come a little early. I walked a lot hoping that might help you come but it didn't. You were stubborn and comfortable in mommy's belly. Your due date came and went and finally the doctor decided to induce you. You then received an eviction notice that it was time to come out. Mommy had a hard labor. The doctor's made lots of mistakes and mommy was in so much pain for 8 weeks after because of it. But you, sweet girl, were worth it. When I held you for the first time I was at a loss for words because you were so beautiful. You had big blue eyes and beautiful, squishy cheeks. I couldn't get enough of you. You were all mine and my love for you grew even more that day. It was on that day that I learned what unconditional love is.

In the months that followed, we played. I talked and you cooed back. I smiled and you smiled back. I acted goofy and you laughed. You were the beautiful and wonderful little girl. Mommy and Daddy just loved you so much. We struggled trying to afford all of your needs. There were many nights Mommy and Daddy went without just so you could have a can of formula. We didn't care if we ate, as long you had what you needed.

In your first year of life you threw up everything you ate. We were so worried about you. We took you to see specialists and tried every formula and every medication. We just wanted your tummy to feel better but no one could fix it.

When you were 7 months old I started to wonder why you weren't sitting up yet. At 8 months old your doctor started to wonder why you weren't sitting up. That is when you began physical therapy. You started sitting up on your own at 9 months old and we were so proud we danced around the house with you.

In March we found out Daddy was deploying in may for 4-5 months. I was scared for you. I was scared for Daddy. I was scared for myself.

Then, two weeks after you turned 1 Daddy left. You and I moved in with Grandma while daddy was gone. That is when you started pulling up to standing and crawling. I was so proud of you. We spent that summer at the beach and the pool and we both go so tan. We went walking and spent every minute soaking up the sun and having fun. You started walking with help and I was so proud.

Daddy returned on Mommy and Daddy's 2 year anniversary. Not long after, when you were 18 months, you started walking all by yourself. We were in the hospital waiting room waiting for your Grandpa to get out of his heart surgery. You just began walking to all of the family members on your own. Everyone cheered for you and gave you hugs and kisses. We were all so proud of you and you....you were proud of yourself. I could see it in your smile.

In the months after this Mommy's belly grew again as mommy was growing Little Brother. You didn't quite understand why my tummy was suddenly huge. But you sure liked kicking and hitting mommy's big 'ol belly. I still chased you and carried you no matter how tired I was. A week before your brother was born you began speech therapy. You were apprehensive your first couple times but it didn't take long before you loved going. You started learning so much and everyone was so proud of you.

It's been a little over four months since you started your speech therapy and baby girl, we are still so proud of you. We will always be proud of you. You are so loved by so many people and everyone is rooting for you. It's time for you start more therapy and to see another specialist and mommy will be there every step of the way holding your handing and guiding you. I don't care what the doctor's say you are PERFECT to us just the way you are. We will do whatever it takes to help you to succeed but whatever the outcome know that we love you unconditionally and would not change a single thing about you. Every time daddy and I get a hug or a kiss from you it brings us the most unexplainable joy inside. We would do anything for you, Little Miss. You are Beautifully Made and Developmentally Delayed and we wouldn't have you any other way. God made you perfect just the way you are and we love you more than you will ever know.

I hope that one day when you are older you will read this letter and know how much we love you and how many other people have loved you along the way. Your name means 'The Bright One'. You are the sunshine in our lives. Your middle name means God is Gracious. Mommy and Daddy made a mistake having you before we were married but God was gracious and forgiving and gave us the most beautiful gift....you.

Sweet, precious girl, Mommy loves you so much and misses you even when you are sleeping. You are my angel and I will always be here for you. Anything you need. I would lay my life down for you. I love you Little Miss.

Sincerely,
Your Blessed and Proud Mamma

This song is dedicated to you Sweet girl. I love you.

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight you fight

I will hold you tight and I won't let go

It hurts my heart to see you cry

I know it's dark, this part of life

It finds us all but we're too small

to stop the rain oh, but when it rains

I will stand by you

Update on Little Miss and Little Man

2011-10-12T19:30:00.000-04:00

So today the kids and I spent the day at the doctor's for appointments. First up was Little Man for his four month checkup and shots. He's hardly gained any weight in two months but the doctor wasn't concerned because he is eating plenty and is quite chunky. He did get taller though:) Overall she said he's healthy and development wise is right wear he needs to be.

Next was Little Miss. This appointment was a follow up for her speech therapy to see how she's doing. Her pediatrician had me fill out a questionnaire based on her age. It went over everything from fine motor skills to occupational. When I was done he scored it and she failed her fine motor skills but excelled in communication(except the obvious speech of course) as well as understanding. She was in the middle with occupational. Well her pediatrician is referring her to to see Developmental Pediatrician, someone who specializes in developmental delays in children. I am excited to hopefully get some answers but it will take a while to get an appointment as there aren't many Developmental Pediatricians in the country. When I got home I looked online to see if there is one where we live and there is so hopefully we will get referred to that one so we don't have to travel too far. In addition to that he also wants her to start physical therapy and occupational therapy. He said she may not need the occupational therapy but he wants her to at least get evaluated by an OT. She also must continue the speech therapy, of course. So that's it. That's our updates. I am thrilled to be getting her more help and to hopefully get some answers but this is all so emotionally draining and stressful. I love my baby girl and in my head she is perfect. I just want the best for her and I am afraid she will still be behind when she start school. I just want to get her the help she needs now, while she is young.

Please keep Little Miss in your prayers.

31 Days of Love Day 11: My Family

2011-10-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

This is sort of an about me for my family. It's what I love about us all and what makes us who we are in a few short sentences:)

[Husband/Daddy/Airman]
He is the breadwinner and works so hard for us. He loves cars and motorcycles and anything with an engine. He is extremely smart and can fix just about anything. He loves the outdoors and is a country boy. Hunting, four wheel riding & mudding are just a few of his favorite hobbies. He is sensitive and loving. He is the best dad in the world to our kids. He will do anything to make them laugh. He lives life to the fullest, loves spontanuity, and is willing to do almost anything once. He is also extremely handsome. just sayin. :)

{The Misses/Me/Mamma/Cook/Crafter/Baker/Taxi Driver/Maid/Blogger/Fashionista}
Okay so I gave myself a lot of names. oh well. I am a complex person. I am deep as the ocean and very emotional. I'll be the first to admit that I am overly sensitive. The only bones in my body are creative ones and the only teeth in my mouth are sweet. I am always cooking, baking, or crafting. I love to read and drink wine. I love bubble baths and being silly. The beach is where I feel most like myself and my favorite place. I am strong willed and hard headed. I love with all my heart. I have a passion for doing makeup. It is wearable art for your face. My number 1 role is mamma. I am always with my kids and hate being away from them. Everything I do is for them.

{Jasmine/Dog/Fur Baby/Furry Sister}
Jas was our first baby. We got her when I was six months pregnant with Little Miss while Husband was still in tech school. She is small but mighty weighing in at only 15lbs. She is my shadow and the only time she leaves my side it to play with or cuddles with the kids or to bark at a noise outside. She is always watching over the kids and I. She is sweet and loving. She is also extremely playful. If you throw a ball she will fetch it. Over. And over. And over...for hours..and hours. She is patient and puts up with a lot. Little Miss is rough with Jas and Jas just takes it. She loves my kids like they are hers.

{Little Miss/Baby Girl/Daughter/Mini Me/Sissy}
Blonde hair, blue eyed, beauty. She is 2 going on 16. She rolls her eyes and sasses me daily. She is packed full of attitude but is the sweetest girl. She is always giving hugs and kisses. She loves to read books and play outside. She would much rather be outside then watch tv. She is my little helper and know hows to start the dishwasher and laundry. She is my shadow #2. She follows me everywhere and imitates everything I do and say. Her smile brings joy to everyone who comes in contact with her and her giggles melt hearts. She is precious in every way and the girliest of girls. As girly as she is she loves riding fourwheelers.

[Little Man/Baby Man/Bubba/Bubby/Son]
Dark hair, dark eyes, and the chubbiest cheeks you've ever seen. This little guy is a heartbreaker at only 4 months old. He smiles all the time and hardly every gets upset. He is chill and laid back. He is a go with the flow kind of kid. He is a mamma's boy but thinks his daddy is the funniest thing ever. He was born with a mohawk and that hair still will not stay down. He looks just like Husband. He loves to read books and watch sissy. He loves when mamma sings to him and to dance around the kitchen. He is a huge flirt. He is a chunky little guy but by far the most handsome little man.

So there you have it. My family. I am so blessed.

31 Days of Love Day 10: Sweet As Sugar

2011-10-10T16:34:00.001-04:00

I love to bake. I guess it's something about the process of working hard to have a beautiful and tasty end result. I also have about 50 sweet teeth in my mouth. Baked goods are my weakness. So today I baked about 4 dozen cookies. Tonight is open house at the chorus I sing in...which I guess I should mention this first...

About 2 months ago I went searching online for barbershop woman's chorus where I live. I have loved barbershop music since high school and had an internationally known barbershopper as my choir director in high school. Singing is my passion and barbershop is the one genre of music I excel in. So, I began a google search and found a small Sweet Adeline's chorus that meets Monday nights only about 10 minutes from house. I passed my audition and am loving singing with this chorus. It has been a true blessing to be able to sing one night a week. I love it! Well our chorus is going in a new direction starting with a new name and a new director and tonight is our open house!

Well I volunteered to bake cookies for tonight which is what these cookies are for. I tried to make them halloween themed. They may not be the prettiest cookies but they taste heavenly:) I got the recipe for the cookies and the frosting here. Now....the pictures...

[The dough]

[after baking]

[all done!]

Just like with baking, life takes work to have the sugary, sweet reward we call happiness. We can't just expect to be happy and to love our life. So I am taking strides in loving my life in every aspect. Singing, organizing & baking are just a few of things I'm doing.

[Have you entered my giveaway yet?? WIN one of my wreaths :)]

31 Days of Love Day 9: Remind Me

2011-10-10T00:46:00.000-04:00

We didn't care if people stared, We'd make out in a crowd somewhere

Somebody'd tell us to get a room

It's hard to believe that was me and you

Now we keep saying that we're OK

But I don't want to settle for good not great

I miss the way that it felt back then I wanna feel that way again

Been so long that you'd forget the way I used to kiss your neck

Remind me, remind me

So on fire so in love. Way back when we couldn't get enough

Remind me, remind me

Remember the airport dropping me off, We were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop

I felt bad cause you missed your flight, But that meant we had one more night

Do you remember how it used to be, We'd turn out the lights and we didn't just sleep

Remind me, baby, remind me

Oh, so on fire so in love, That look in your eyes that I miss so much

Remind me, baby, remind me

I wanna feel that way, Yeah, I wanna hold you close

Oh, if you still love me Don't just assume I know

Baby, remind me, remind me

Do you remember the way it felt?

You mean back when we couldn't control ourselves

Remind me Yeah, remind me

All those things that you used to do, That made me fall in love with you

Remind me, oh, baby, remind me

Yeah, you'd wake up in my old t-shirt, All those mornings I was late for work

Remind me Oh, baby, remind me

2 Babies and 3 years later...I need to be reminded.

31 Days of Love Day 8: Choices

2011-10-08T23:00:00.002-04:00

When it comes to marriage I've always told people that love is not just a feeling but it's a choice. When you're married you may have disagreements and go through rough patches but you wake up everyday and choose to be happy and to love your spouse.

So having said that I'm not sure why it is so difficult for me to choose to love myself. Tonight I was out on date night with my husband. It took me an hour to decide on something to wear and in the end I still felt unattractive due to my weight. I weigh less than I did before having my kids yet I look bigger. My kids are worth giving up my body for and I know I need to appreciate the fact that I've had two beautiful children in just 3 years. I know I need to love my body. My body created the most perfect children and I need to love it for that.

It is just so hard to see other woman especially mom's who are so skinny and beautiful. Now, I realize I'm not that heavy weighing in at 154 and too small for my size 10 jeans but this is not how I want to look. I am unwilling to except that I can't reach my goals but I know regardless my body will never be the same as it was before.

So in order to learn to love myself and to choose to love myself I want to talk about things I love about myself. So here it is...5 things I love about myself...

1. I'm a good mom. My kids are #1 always. They're health and safety always takes priority.
2. I have made it almost 5 months exclusively breastfeeding my little man. It hasn't always been easy but I pushed through the pain and am glad I did. I am proud of myself and plan to continue until he's a year.
3. I am an extremely empathetic person.
4. I am good at makeup, hair, and anything fashion related.
5. I am a deep person who loves everything and everyone until they give me a reason not to.

Well that was tough...here's to thinking of more things and to choose to love myself!

[If you haven't already, go enter my giveaway! Less than a week left!]

31 Days of Love Day 7: Making the Best

2011-10-07T18:40:00.001-04:00

It always seems like whenever things get better something always comes up to spoil that 'better' time. My husband got home from a TDY on Tuesday. He was supposed to have two days off because he was gone but instead he had to work 7pm-7am on Wednesday night. His body was and is still so confused. He was in three different time zones in the matter of a week and now is working nights. We thought him working the mids shift was going to be just for this week but it is permanent. Now, when we lived on base and he worked mids it sucked but not that bad. Well now we live about a 35 minute drive from the base without traffic...so it can easily turn into almost an hour during rush hour.

Now husband leaves for work at 6pm and doesn't get back until almost 9am. He then sleeps until 4 or 5. Kids are in bed at 7. So he sees them for 2-3 hours a day?! Then on weekends he has to stay awake at night so that he doesn't get thrown off before the next work week. So we get zero time together, basically. I want to just scream. I feel like the people without families should work the crap shifts(mids and swings) and those with families should work days but of course that wouldn't be fair.

So, now I am cranky and annoyed because I miss my husband. BUT I am trying to love everything more and need to stay positive. So here we go. I will make the best out of this situation. To start things off we are going on a date night tomorrow:) I am very excited. We are going with another couple so it will be double the fun. I'm also trying to keep busy and just enjoy the time I have with him.

I am continuing on the idea of being thankful I posted about in Day 5 and thanking God that my husband has a job even if it means him working during the night.

[Have you entered my giveaway yet???]

This song is exactly how I feel...

"I wanna thank You Lord, for noisy children and slamming doors,

and clothes scattered all over the floor,

My husband workin' all the time,

Draggin' in dead tired at night,

My never ending messy kitchenAnd dirty dishes."

-Dirty Dishes, Scotty McCreery

31 Days of Love Day 6: GIVEAWAY!

2011-10-07T12:46:00.000-04:00

So today I'm sharing the Love of my 31 Days of Love by doing a giveaway for one of my wreaths...

This is a 12 inch handmade by me, dark grey and white, yarn wreath. It is available in my Etsy Store but right now you have a chance to win it:)

This giveaway will end at 12am EST on October 16, 2011.

To enter you MUST be a follower of my blog and leave a comment saying what you love most about autumn. Fall is my favorite time of year so I can't wait to hear the reasons why you love it!

Extra Entries(Please leave a comment for each of these):

1 Entry- Favorite my Etsy Shop

1 Entry- Follow me on Twitter @LenaPenaa

1 Entry- 'Like' my Facebook Page

2 Entries- Blog about this giveaway(Please include the coupon code below in your blog entry)

1 Entry- Tweet about my giveaway(make sure to include @LenaPenaa and link to my blog)

In addition to this giveaway I am also offering a coupon code to all of my fabulous readers :) Feel free to share this code with whomever you like. This code will only be good until the end of the giveaway.

HEWEARSCOMBATBOOTS10

will save you 10% in my store until October 16 at 12am EST.

So get to entering..ready...set...go!

31 Days of Love Day 5: Thankfulness

2011-10-05T22:04:00.000-04:00

"If you woke up this morning with only the things you thanked God for last night what would you be missing from your life?"

I read that quote about a week ago on facebook and now every night in my prayers, I thank God for every single thing I can think of...I usually fall asleep before I finish. Everything from my kids, my husband, our dog, etc to simple things like sheets on my bed and a running car in my driveway.

I have so much love in my life that I almost take it for granted sometimes and forget to be thankful. It's hard not to get so caught up in the stresses of life that we forget to stop, look around, and be thankful for the blessings we have.

I have two amazingly beautiful and perfect kids. I am so thankful for them. I know several couples who are unable to conceive children and I am thankful that God gave us these beautiful children. They are truly all that matters at the end of the day.

I have a husband who works his tail off to provide for our family and I am so thankful for him. He is a fabulous father and is putting so much effort into being a wonderful husband. He is a wonderful man whom I love so much.

I have heat. I have running water. I have a sweet dog who keeps me company. I have a roof over my head. I have clothes and an income and food in my pantry. I am blessed and I am THANKFUL! God has provided for us. He has met all of our needs. I love that I have so many blessings in my life to be thankful for and will continue to be thankful on a daily basis. Being thankful and counting my blessings has really helped me to appreciate what I have and to truly begin to love my life even more.

So let me ask you...when was the last time you counted your blessings and were truly thankful for all that you have?

31 Days of Love Day 4: Getting rid of Clutter

2011-10-05T18:47:00.000-04:00

I have two kids in diapers, a dog, and a husband..my house is rarely spotlessly clean. I have never been a super organized person although since I had my kids I have learned to have my house pretty clean but I still have areas that are cluttered. They are out of site but still drive me crazy.

I have ADHD and have since I was a kid although I was not officially diagnosed until senior year of high school. When I was a kid my mom and I would organize my room really nicely before the school started. I always loved having it organized. We would label everything and make sure there is a place for all of my stuff. I also would organize and color code all of my school supplies.

Well a few months into school my room would start to get messy and my desk at school and/or locker would as well. That is when my grades would start to drop and when my homework would stop getting turned in. That is also the point when my mom would meet with my teachers and have a conference about me and my lack of focus and motivation. It was like every time my things were messy I would do bad in school. Welcome to the world of ADHD...

In my adult life I have areas like my giant walk in closet or my filing cabinet that get super messy and cluttered. That is when I start to get lazy with other aspects of my life and begin to get stressed out and moody. When my house is spotlessly organized and clean then I am happier.

This past weekend I cleaned out my pantry and began cleaning out my walk in closest. My closet is seriously huge. I could probably fit a dresser as well as a makeup table in there. So because it's big it's just more space to make messy. I am trying to get rid of the mess and de-clutter my house as well as my life. I can't wait for my house to be the way I like it and intend on posting pictures. I sort of wish I had taken before pictures but then I would be embarrassed to show all of you.

So, I will continue this month to de-clutter and get rid of junk I don't need...because all of that "stuff" doesn't matter and I want to love my house.

31 Days of Love Day 3:Simplify

2011-10-05T18:36:00.000-04:00

This is Little Miss. Little Miss loves to swing. It brings her so much joy. Kids have such a carefree and easy outlook on life. Everything is simple to them. They are happy when they play and sad when they can't. They have a beautiful innocence. They don't care about money and they don't have to work. Everything is easy.

When we were at the park over the weekend I was stressed out. I hadn't heard from my husband in a few days and was worried sick. I was checking my phone 100x hoping to hear from him. I had a hard time just letting go to have fun with my kids because I was such a wreck emotionally.

That's when I noticed the pure, genuine, joy on Little Miss' face while she was swinging. Little Miss hadn't seen her daddy or talked to him either but she could enjoy herself so why I couldn't I? That's when I realized I need to simplify my life. I need to not stress things I can't control. I need to swing...and enjoy it. I need to let go and relax a little. I need to enjoy life the way my kids enjoy life.

31 Days of Love Day 2: Finding Love in Pain

2011-10-05T18:28:00.000-04:00

This is where I talk about the part of this challenge that means learning to truly and deeply love myself. It's something I've struggled with for years...I think most people go through this at one point in their lives...at least I hope I'm not the only one!

There are so many life experiences I still have not healed from. So many things I have blocked out in my head..kind of like a calendar with blackout dates except my life has blackout dates. They are days and memories that are so awful and sad that I have pretended they don't exist and tucked them deep down inside of me never to be brought back up. This is not a healthy way of dealing with bad times but it's how I've reacted to bad situations since I was young. I feel like it's time to let these things back up and to talk them through...to heal and to forgive those that caused this pain. I know it will be one of the hardest things I've had to conquer in my life. Conquering my past...just saying it scares me. But I think now I am ready. I am ready to learn and grow.

One thing I love about this military life is that I was moved to another part of the country and got to start new. Nobody here knows anything about what I've been through and it is nice to not have my past haunting me. I hope that one day I am able to openly talk about these things with all of you but right now I'm not ready but I feel like just letting it out that I have things to deal with and deciding to get help is a huge first step.

31 Days of Love:Day 1

2011-10-02T20:07:00.005-04:00

For the next 31 Days I am going on a journey. A journey to love all aspects of my life. From simple things like loving my kitchen to bigger, deeper, things like loving myself. I am the decider of my own happiness and bringing more love into my life is the perfect way to transform myself. I want to learn to love in new ways and show my love more to others.

So here it is...Day 1 of this journey. A journey that will probably bring tears and stress along the way but something that will be so rewarding in the end. I'm jumping in full force and digging deeper than ever before.

Linking up over at The Nester on her 31 day challenge...have you??

My other 31 Day posts:

Day 2: Finding Love in Pain
Day 3: Simplify
Day 4: Getting Rid of Clutter
Day 5: Thankfulness
Day 6: GIVEAWAY!
Day 7: Making the Best
Day 8: Choices
Day 9: Remind Me
Day 10: Sweet as Sugar
Day 11: My Family
Day 12: An Open Letter to My Daughter

Trendy & Professional

2011-10-01T10:03:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by Express. All opinions are 100% mine.

I've talked about my love for Express jeans before but now it's time to talk about Express suits! Like I said in a previous post I've worked at Express a total of three times and loved it every time. Their clothes are amazing quality and last forever.

What I love most about Express suiting is that it is fashionable and able to go from day to night so easily. Express women's suits fit perfectly. Wear the blazer and pants to work then take off the blazer, throw on some fun jewelry and you're ready to go out at night!

I feel like everyone needs a good power suit because you never know when you'll need it. Men especially should always have a nice suit on hand. Express men's suits are AWESOME! My husband looks so good in his! The material is soft and comfortable and made to last. Express is truly a leader in fashionable work wear and has been and will always be my first choice when it comes to suiting.

Now you have a chance to win a $500 suiting makeover from Express! Go enter the $500 Express sweepstakes now for your chance to win! So which Express suit do you love and why? What would you wear it for? Work? Networking events? Job interviews? Leave your answer in a comment :)

Parenthood

2011-09-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

No, not the show but real parenthood. Real life. Let me tell you a little story about parenthood...more specifically parenthood with only one parent because your spouse is gone on another mission for the military...

So today started out a normal day. Okay, it didn't actually...I lied. Last night I slept a total of 3 hours but not all at once. My kids took turns screaming into the baby monitors to keep me from sleeping. I was in and out of both of their rooms for hours feeding Little Man and putting Little Miss back in bed after calming her from a night terror. I'm pretty sure they strategically planned the night out so that they would maximize the amount of time mamma would be awake...because everyone knows how much I love being awake in the wee hours of the night...

So then at 6am they both decided to be awake for the day. I tiredly prepared breakfast and fed Little Man. After a few hours of cuddle time Daddy called us on skype. As I am trying to talk to him Little Miss starts throwing a fit. She got so mad that she grabbed the ceramic dipping bowl from the counter and threw it. So, of course I hung up with husband and immediately sent her to her room so I could clean up the mess that was now on my kitchen floor.

After nap time, I decided I needed to get out of the house so I decided a thrifting we will go...which for my 2 year old apparently meant a screaming we will go.

Thankfully at bedtime we all snuggled together and had a very long story time. After a long day these are the moments I cherish. It is tough being alone and taking care of my kids but even after a long day I wouldn't change being the one who gets to stay home with them. Even when Little Miss had broken a dish on the floor I still wanted to kiss and hug her because nothing she could ever do would change how much I love her. And even when Little Man doesn't want to sleep in the middle of the night and just wants to smile and coo at me...I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my kids. I just hope they grow up knowing how much I love them because I will continue to do my best to show it to them.

Breaking Down...

2011-09-29T21:53:00.000-04:00

Tonight I have broken down. I am crying. I just want to go hide in bed and not move for a week. Sometimes this military lifestyle feels like more than I can handle. My husband is gone again but thankfully this time it is only for about a week.

Tonight I snuggled my babies extra tight and tried to follow our normal bedtime routine filling in for daddy's role in our routine. We gathered in Little Man's room like always. I sat in the rocking chair holding Little Man and nursing him as Little Miss sat in front of us on the floor. Usually she sits in daddy's lap but she snuggled with Woody and her blanket since daddy is not here. Instead of reading just one or two books we spent 30 minutes reading. We read Goodnight Moon, Dora's Birthday Surprise, as well as many others. I love story time. I love that Little Miss and Little Man love listening to me read. What I love most about story time is that it is quiet time where I get to steal my family away from the craziness of life and just spend time together. Story time was not the same without husband here....and even after 30 minutes of story time Little Miss got upset because she didn't want story time to end. Her big blue eyes were sad. She misses her daddy. Little Miss and I said goodnight to Little Man and tucked him into his crib. She said to him, "I yov oo, night night" and kissed him on the head. I told Little Miss it was her turn to go to bed and she ran away into the living room. I explained to her it was time for bed. She marched into her room and fought me every step of the way. I sang a song to her that I made up when she was a baby. It's a song only her and I know and no one else..not even husband even knows about our little song. It is our little secret song. I have not sang this song to her in a long time and instantly when I sang it she was calm. She snuggled her blanket and listened carefully until my song was over. I kissed her head and explained to her how much I loved her. I silently said a prayer for her and tucked her in tight. When I shut the door she began to scream. After several tries of calming her down and putting her back in bed she was quiet and has been quiet since.

Tonight...is a night I hate this military lifestyle. I wish my husband could see how hard it is when he is gone. I can miss him and get through it but watching kids miss him...breaks my heart and makes this almost unbearable. Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will be strong and wear a smile on my face even if I'm not smiling inside. I am blessed to have a husband to miss. I am blessed to have a husband who is not away from his kids because he chooses. I am blessed my kids have a dad who works so hard to provide for us.

But most of all..I am blessed to have two sets of beautiful eyes to stare into even when my husband is gone. I am blessed for those precious faces I get to wake up each morning and see. These kids are my world and they are the most beautiful gifts God could have given me.

**Writing this post took me from a crying mess to being thankful and at peace. This blog is such therapy to me.

A New Trend in Hair Care

2011-09-29T18:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by TRESemmé. All opinions are 100% mine.

Something that has been hitting hair everywhere these days is Dry Shampoo. Celebrities have been raving about it and it seems I'm hearing about it everywhere. I've been dying to give it a try so when I was contacted by TRESemme to blog about their dry shampoo it was the kick in the butt I needed to go out and buy some to try myself. I have to say I actually really liked it!

I think these dry shampoos would be Top Hair Products for School as well as for those working or just too busy to wash their hair normally. Now to help you out I wanted to share some tips for any of my readers who want to try it out themselves.

For best results shake the bottle before use and in between each spray. Life the hair in sections and spray it lightly at the root. Spray it in short bursts 8-12 inches from your head and do not spray it like hair spray. After you've sprayed all of your hair leave it in for 1-2 minutes then use either your fingers or a brush to evenly distribute the product throughout your hair. If the nozzle clogs remove it and run it under warm water to unclog it.

TREsemme has come up with a full line of Dry Shampoos including:

Strengthening Dry Shampoo- With b12 Vitamins and keratin this formula helps to strengthen your hair and keep it full of body

Volumizing Dry Shampoo- With Mineral Clay and Citrus this formula removes oil while injecting hair with gorgeous volume

Smoothing Dry Shampoo- With Vitamin H and Silk Proteins this formula refreshes your straight style to removing excess oil, impurities and odor to ensure your smooth look lasts

Moisturizing Waterless Foam Shampoo- With Witch Hazel, Citrus, and Aloe Vera this formula refreshes your hair by removing excess oil, impurities and oil while moisturizing hair

What I love most about Dry Shampoo is that as a stay home mom and military wife getting the chance to wash my hair everyday is sometimes out of the question so I LOVE that this is something fast and efficent. I can have clean hair without trying to find time to wash it in the shower.

With the complete line of Dry Shampoos you can revive your style's look on days when you have skip regular shampoo. These Dry Shampoos are uniquely formulated to remove oil and excess oil without a drop of water. With a burst of citrus infused in every product they leave your hair with a clean, fresh scent. So now you should go try some TRESemmé Fresh Start Dry Shampoo and see for yourself how truly awesome it is :) I would never steer you guys wrong or tell you I love something if I really didn't! Promise!

You can check out this video from a top beauty guru on youtube for more information

The Truth

2011-09-29T15:12:00.000-04:00

Alright readers, there is something we need to talk about. Something that all of you must know. Most of you who have followed me for a while know this but I guess it's good to be reminded and good for those of you who are new readers as well. I want to let you all know why I choose to keep my identity private. But before I do that I want to address a comment I deleted on my post from yesterday. Someone said my blog would be better if I didn't keep things secretive. She also went on to say my kid's names and how she found them out as well as to point out a few places you can find a picture of me as well as a picture of Little Miss.

Yes, if you really wanted to, you could find out a lot of information about me. Anyone who knows how to use the internet could really dig and probably figure out who I am. But, if you do, I kindly ask you don't post it publicly on my blog. I'm sure that comment was not meant to upset me but it kind of did. I have chosen not to post pictures or names of my family on my blog for several reasons and once again if you really wanted to find out these things you could. If you ordered something from my Etsy shop you would also find out my name as well as my address.

I have thought about revealing our names as well as pictures because my kids are VERY CUTE(of course my opinion is biased:) ) and I would love to show them off to all of you because, well, they are my kids and in my eyes they are the cutest kids ever but again I have reasons for not doing that. So here are my reasons for why I keep my identity a secret...

-I want you like to like my blog for the content. I want you to read and like me because you are interested in the things I write. I want you to like me, for well, me. I don't want you to have an opinion based on wear I live, what a I look like, what my husband looks like etc...

-I don't want to have to filter what I write about. I want to be open and honest with all of you. I owe you that as a blogger and I owe it to myself to have a safe place to talk about whatever I want. This blog has gotten me through some very hard times in my life and the last thing I want to have to do is keep things inside instead of letting them out here because I'm afraid of it getting back to people in real life....like someone my husband works with. I would hate for my blog to have an effect on my husbands career. I have seen so many bloggers shut down their blog because they had people stalking them and reporting back to their husband's boss. This blog is like therapy for me sometimes I would hate to have to end it because someone took something I said and tried to ruin my husband's career or something similar happened.

-Safety. My family is my life. There are some crazies on the internet and I don't want any of them coming after my family. The internet can be a scary place which is also why my Facebook profile is VERY private. So even if somehow you found that...you wouldn't be able to see anything other than maybe my profile picture because everything is so private.

Those are the main reasons I keep this blog anonymous. Yes, I have posted a few baby pictures of my kids. Yes, if you look hard enough throughout different accounts of mine on different sites you could find a picture of me as well. Yes, if you stalked me enough and did enough digging you could find the information you want BUT just because you could find it does not mean I am going to hand this information to you on a silver platter.

I choose privacy because it is the best choice for MY BLOG. You can run your blog the way you want and I'll respect you for it. I just choose this way for me.

So to the person whose commented I deleted, you know who you are, thank you for your comment and your opinions. I respect what you think but would prefer if you never post my information publicly. It's fine you found out my kid's names as well as a picture of me but respect my privacy by keeping this information to yourself. I hope you understand why I deleted your comment and why I try to maintain my privacy. I hope you continue to be a reader.

Well now I'm exhausted and need to go cuddle my kids as my husband is gone on another work trip. Happy Thursday everyone.

What's in a Name

2011-09-28T12:37:00.000-04:00

There's something I need to get off my chest. Something I feel so guilty about and need to get passed.

Before my Little Man was born I had a list of names. At the top of my list were names like Grayson, Holden, or Asher. But, my favorite name was...Ezra. I love Ezra. It is a biblical name and to me a very strong name. It's unique and seemed to be perfect for my baby boy. When Little Man was born my husband and I had only agreed on one name. He hated the names I came up with. We tried so hard to find names we agreed on but we still only agreed on one. Because we couldn't agree on any other names that one name became Little Man's name. It's a cute name and most definitely unique but still to this day I regret Little Man's name. He looks like an Ezra to me and just doesn't fit the name we gave him. Little Miss's name ends in A and is four letters long just like Ezra. Ezra and Little Miss's name go together perfect. Little Miss has a short first name and an even shorter middle name while Little Man has an 8 letter first name and a 7 letter middle name...their names just don't go together.

I realize he's four months old and there's nothing I can do. Even if I wanted to change his name which I wouldn't because it just wouldn't be right, my husband wouldn't let me. I'm just so hoping he grows into the name we gave him and that these regrets and insecurities will go away.

Have you ever felt this way about your child's name?

A Heavy Heart

2011-09-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

I got bad news today. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My best friend here is about to go through hell and there is nothing I can do about it. I wish I could take her sadness away. I can't say the news shocked me but at the same time I can't believe it. I'm sort of living in denial. I can't say what the news is as that just would not be right out of me. But this news is going to cause her to move very far away from me. This is going to be a very hard time for her and I ask that all of you say some prayers for her. She is an AMAZING person and has been there for me when no one else was. She does not deserve what is happening to her. I love her so much and this just makes me so sad. I feel everything she is feeling right along with her. Please take a moment to appreciate and say thanks for the happiness in your life and say a prayer for her as she starts a new life journey...she has a hard road ahead of her but I know she will get through it. She is stronger than she even knows and whenever she needs it I will ALWAYS be here for her. No matter how many miles she moves away from me...it will never change how close she is to me.

When I call someone a friend, especially a best friend, I mean it. I would do anything for my friends. And this girl is truly one of my best friends.

Etsy Update

2011-09-22T12:48:00.000-04:00

I have added a new wreath to my Etsy Shop..

Check it out:) You like?

31 Days of Love

2011-09-22T11:00:00.000-04:00

Over at The Nester she is hosting a 31 days series starting October 1st and inviting everyone to join in. It can be about anything and I have decided to do it. So starting October 1st I will be blogging everyday and my series is called...

So check about October 1st for my first post and if you want to join in the the fun head over to one my favorite blogs, The Nester to link up when the time comes.

Little Miss is Making Progress

2011-09-21T09:21:00.000-04:00

So it's been a little while since I updated all of you on Little Miss. She's been in speech therapy for a little over 4 months now and is making a lot of progress. When she started speech therapy she could say very few words. If you asked her to say something she wouldn't repeat it. Now after a little over four months she can say so many words like Bubbles, Apple, I love you(sounds more like "I of oo") and many more. She also can tell you what all of her body parts are like her eyes, ears, mouth, hands and so forth. Little Miss also can tell you what sounds a cow makes as well as a sheep and a few others.

We are so beyond proud of her. She is doing so wonderful! She still has a long way to go to catch up but she is making progress and that is what counts. The biggest thing is that she won't just up to me and say something like "more milk". Instead she will just fuss at me until I tell her to stop fussing and to use words. I have to pull these words out of her most times it seems which is frustrating for her. She won't talk much unless prompted to. Like if I say, "What are these?" as I point to my ears she will reply "EARS!". She is little by little beginning to kind of talk on her own though which is huge. It's mostly just imatation though which is still a big deal! Yesterday, we snuggled on the couch and watched Finding Nemo. During the movie she got off the couch and started walking around like she was looking for something saying, "Nemo, Nemo!". It was so cute. Imitation is beginning to take over her. Everything I do and say she tries to imitate.

I started taking her to a music class last week. It's every thursday and I think it's a great way for her to learn and play while interacting with other kids. Little Man loves it too! We are also trying to come up with the money to put Little Miss in dance classes. There is a toddler class just for 2 year olds that does 10 minutes of tap, 10 minutes of ballet, and 10 minutes of tumbling. This would be so amazing for her because she LOVES to make music and to dance to music. She may not talk much but she is extremely talented when it comes to music. She is always making music with anything she can.

I guess while I'm updating you on Little Miss I should let you know how Little Man is doing too. He will be four months old on Monday and is growing SO FAST. He rolled over for the first time 2 weeks ago. He is such a happy, smily, baby. I have been working so hard trying to get him to laugh for weeks now and of course I ran out the other day to the store and when I came back husband said he got Little Man to laugh. He tried to do it again for me but Little Man just wouldn't do it. Same thing happened yesterday while I was in the shower. This little guy just won't laugh for me. Stubborn, just like his daddy ;)

Date Night

2011-09-20T15:33:00.000-04:00

If you didn't know already September 12 was my husband and I's 3rd wedding anniversary. After everything we've been through I thought this to be a big accomplishment and we both really wanted a fun night to celebrate. About a month ago we decided on Sept 17th for our date night and I asked one of my best friends(and one of only two people I trust to watch my kids here) to babysit. She agreed and for weeks we both tried to come up with fun things to do. About two weeks before Date Night we found out our planned night was also the night of the Air Force Ball. We opted not to go to the ball and continue our scheduled date night because honestly who would rather be dressed up being fancy at a boring ball when you could be in jeans feeling the wind in your hair on a motorcycle? You don't have to answer that. We all know what you would choose:)

We spent a lot of time coming up with things to do. We debated everything from a drive in movie to going to the beach. We even seriously debated about going to see Lion King 3D because we're both kind of big kids at heart :) Eventually a decision had been made...we would take husband's motorcycle and make the plans as we go.

Saturday came and I nearly cried as I said goodbye to my kiddos. It's always hard leaving them. Especially since Little Man is only 4 months old. Once I walked out the door there was studly man on a motorcycle waiting for me and I hopped on the back. We headed to a Mexican restaurant we had never been to(I had a coupon hehe) and enjoyed some VERY yummy Mexican food. It is definitely our new Mexican restaurant of choice. I indulged in a delicious strawberry margarita as I starred across the table at my sexy husband. We laughed and talked and ate until our bellies were full. We hopped back on the motorcycle and headed to a country club for line dancing lessons. After an hour of making fools of ourselves we went downtown right on the water to a piano bar where we laughed even more and sang our hearts out. By 10:30 we were both yawning and decided it was time to head back and be adults again and at 11 we walked in, said goodbye to the babysitter, and passed out into bed.

It was a fun filled night where I actually got to feel 22 years old again. I missed my babies the whole time but it was so wonderful to just have fun with my husband. We had not went on a date since February so this was much needed.

The only downfall was leaving my kids. The fact that Little Man had to have a bottle of breast milk rather than the real thing made me sad...that probably sounds stupid to most but he has only had two other bottle before Saturday and I just like knowing I'm the one feeding him. It's a special bond between Little Man and I.

We have two date night planned. One is September 29th and one is October 8. When my husband first said he wanted to do both of these dates I told him absolutely not. I will not leave my babies two weekends in a row. I was almost mad that he would even think that was okay. I thought on it for a little while and realized that going out with my husband two Saturdays in a row is OKAY. I am hardly ever away from my kids(except a quick trip to the grocery store which means they are home with daddy) and my husband and I need that time.

A hard concept for me to learn and accept is that my marriage needs to come before my kids because if my marriage isn't going well then my kids are not going to be happy. My husband and I's relationships NEEDS to come first. We need to be happy in order to raise our kids properly so if that means leaving them once or twice a month for a date night then so be it. They sleep the whole time we're gone anyways and they are perfectly happy when we're not here. This is just something I struggle with so much because I feel guilty if I'm away from them but I love that alone with my husband and I know that it is needed. Our marriage is just so important because if we don't work on relationship and have that time alone we could end up unhappy and divorced..and that is NOT good for my kids.

I learned a lot from this experience and had so much with my husband. Things like date nights really make our relationship strong and gives us a chance to remember why we fell in love in the first place.

Upromise

2011-09-19T17:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by UPromise. All opinions are 100% mine.

Upromise is something I started using a long time ago. Basically, by eating at certain restaurants, grocery shopping, and shopping online you can save money for college! It really is a great idea and has helped so many. Well, their tenth anniversary is here and they are giving away $20,000 to one grand prize winner and $1,000 to 10 winners!! In order to enter all of you have to do is go to their dreamwall at www.upromisetodream.com and submit a story that tells how a parent has supported a child's dream. I submitted a story about when I used to Volunteer at a non profit back in my homestate. I wrote about a little girl who was brought hear from a third world country. Her parents let her come here so she could get medical care and attend American schools through high school to help her achieve her dream of having an education and one day having a career.

You can vote for you favorite stories by "liking" them. So go submit your story and join upromise:) because who doesn't want a super easy way to save for college?

I would love to hear any stories you have so leave them here as a comment as well as submitting them for the contest.

dream wall official rules

Express Jeans and Why I LOVE them

2011-09-17T10:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by Express. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am a clothes hoarder. I always have been and probably always will be. This....is my closet...

[Little Miss loves to play in my closet]

The one thing in my closet I am most obsessed with is jeans. I have 12+ pairs. (A few are in the wash and are not pictured above.) You could ask any one of my friends and they would easily be able to tell you where 90% of my clothes especially my jeans are from. I guess you could say I'm a tad in love with the clothing store Express. I am a prior employee. I have worked there 3 different times and have loved it every single time. My oldest pair of jeans in my closet are my Express Stella Bootcuts which I bought when I was working there 3 and a half years ago.

In a wardrobe it is my belief that jeans are one of the most important staples. Every woman needs a pair of "good butt jeans". It's a fact. If I'm ever feeling a little down I throw on a great pair of jeans and it is an instant confidence boost. I have tried almost every brand of jeans and Express is the one brand that has a fit for every body type. I have always had a more curvy figure and have always been able to walk into Express and find a pair of jeans that not only fit correctly but also look great. Finding jeans used to be a battle for me before I began working at Express so long ago.

So I'm sure you can imagine my excitement when I got asked to talk about Express jeans on my blog. I will never ever write a sponsored post about something I'm not passionate about. I love express jeans so much I even got my hubby addicted to their men's jeans :) My absolute favorite pair of Express women's jeans are my rerocks....

Those are my flared rerocks and I love them because they look cute with EVERYTHING and are extremely flattering. Actually, almost all of my Express jeans are flares because their flares are just so cute! I'm huge fan of their wide leg jeans as well even though I don't own a pair yet. This fall one of the biggest trends is black and white(yes you CAN wear white after labor day!!) and Express's white jeans are perfect for fall. Pair these babies with a black shirt and some cute black pumps and you're set.

So now that I've told you about my endless love for Express and their wonderful jeans...well I should let you know they are having a jeans giveaway!! They are giving away 50 free pairs of jeans!! So go on over and enter the Express giveaway and also take a look at their fab jeans for fall.

So what jeans are your favorite and why? Do you like the flared jeans? Jeggings? White jeans? Leave your opinions in a comment.

Sometimes I Wonder...

2011-09-16T21:47:00.000-04:00

Let me preface this and say how much I love my life and love my kids and husband. I would never ever trade the life I have with them for anything.

I was on facebook browsing my newsfeed when I saw somebody I went to college with post pictures from New York Fashion Week. She worked backstage of the Max Azria runway show. Then I saw another girl post pictures of outfits SHE designed for BCBG. In case you didn't know I spent exactly one semester in college. My major was Fashion Design with a minor in french. I love fashion. Always Have. I so badly wanted to be in the fashion world and seeing that these other girls I was in school with doing things I have dreamed of...well a little bit of jealousy has ensued.

When I was younger I always said I would never get married and have kids until I had achieved a career I loved and had accomplished all of my own goals. My mom gave up her dreams because she got married and had babies young just like I did. Again, I love my kids and husband but it is hard not to wonder what life could have been like. This past spring I watched the people I graduated from high school with graduate college. I feel so far behind.

Oh Missoni

2011-09-15T21:33:00.000-04:00

So my mom and I are huge fashionistas so when we heard about the Missoni line coming to Target we were more than excited. Neither of us were at Target yesterday when the line launched but I did go there today. Our Target still had quite a bit of Missoni stuff left so I picked myself up a pair of flats I've had my eye on...

and I got my mamma a blouse for her birthday that she wanted. I am just so in love with those cute chevron stripes. I so badly want the purse to match but my store didn't have any left and they are out of stock online. So did anyone else check out the new Missoni line for target? Do you love it as much as I do??

Morning Walks

2011-09-13T18:56:00.000-04:00

This morning at 8am I packed the kids up in our double stroller and headed on a walk to the park. It was a breezy 78 degrees and the sun was shining. I turned my country music playlist on shuffle and began a brisk walk out of my part of the neighborhood. We turned onto the main road and in no time were at the toddler park...when we got there I decided I didn't want to stop and kept walking. I decided to take the kids to the park in the back of the neighborhood instead until I realized I forgot Little Miss' shoes. Instead of turning around and going home I just continued walking because today this 5k trail wasn't about losing weight...it was about enjoying the beauty that was surrounding me. As we proceeded around the lake I looked out at the fountain in the middle. The way the sun was shining it made the water squirting out of the fountain look like diamonds instead of water. It was so beautiful. About halfway through the 5k trail we reached my favorite part. It's like a cave of spanish moss hanging from the trees with little spots where the sun sneaks through. It's almost eery to go through this part at night but in the cool morning it is a wonderful sight to see. On my right was another lake shining so brightly from the sun. We continued to walk as I looked down at my stroller. With so much beauty around me I almost forgot about the beauty right in front of me; my babies. They are the most beautiful blessings and I thank God for mornings like this with them. Mornings that are peaceful. Mornings where God shows us the beauty of the masterpiece he has created around us. I am so thankful to live in such a beautiful neighborhood where there are lakes and trails that are almost too beautiful for words.

Discouraged

2011-09-12T08:02:00.000-04:00

My first weigh in was July 25. I had already lost quite a bit of the baby weight without really changing too much but weighed in at 163. Now on September 12...I am one pound away from my pre-pregnancy weight of 153. I weighed in at 154 this morning which for me is a huge let down because last monday I was 154 and was also 154 the monday before that. I worked my butt of this week and was under my calorie goal every day and still didn't lose a pound. My goal was to hit 135 by my birthday(October 27). I've been selling tons of clothes and such on ebay trying to make money to replenish my closet on my birthday. My clothes continue to fit bigger and bigger and I couldn't wait to hit my goal on my birthday and be able to buy new clothes with the money I've worked hard to earn but now that I once again lost nothing there is almost no way I can lose 19 pounds by October 27. It's so dissappointing. I'm so sick of my body and just want to get closer to my goal. And what a bad way to start my third wedding anniversary...

Crafting

2011-09-08T16:29:00.000-04:00

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter you already know I've been hard at work to get my Etsy store up and running. I have always loved crafting and have decided to start to sell wreaths. I will eventually add other projects too but I just love wreaths and I love making them. Right now I have only added two items to my store but have been working both at bedtime and naptime to finish more to list.

Those are the wreaths I've added so far :) The first one is made out of faux fur and the second is a paper wreath. Please let me know what you think and if you wouldn't mind passing my store link along to anyone who you think would like them. If you'd like to check out my store you can click HERE. I promise a real post will be coming soon as well as a weight loss update....I've just been hard at work crafting and spending time with my family. Hope you all are doing fabulous!

Music Friday

2011-09-02T12:00:00.004-04:00

Today's music Friday is brought to you by the Postal Service...enjoy...

"I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd"

-The Postal Service

Rainbows

2011-09-01T11:30:00.000-04:00

I remember back in college my roommate told me a saying that her mom always told her...

"You can't have a rainbow without any rain"

As I was driving home from Target last night my heart was heavy. I felt a tear escape my eye. It was raining and gloomy outside which is exactly how I felt on the inside. As I was dancing in despair I looked up and saw a rainbow. It was beautiful and reassuring. It reminded me that even in the hard times my life is wonderful. I am blessed. The hard times help me to appreciate the good times and they help me grow. Life doesn't go as planned especially in this military life we have chosen. Just when I think I have a handle on things life throws me a curveball and I feel like I'm going to break. BUT I know I can get through it and that I'm stronger than I know. When I look at my life I see the trials I have already been through and it helps me to keep on keeping on and to push through to the end.

Back to School for The Military Wife

2011-09-01T10:01:00.001-04:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Martinsburg Institute. All opinions are 100% mine.

For so long I have dreamed of getting an education and contributing to my family financially. Thankfully, there are great resources out there to help military spouses get certified for a career. Us military families are not rich so when MyCAA(Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts) came along, many spouses jumped at it. For anyone who doesn't know MyCAA is a grant to military spouses who want to go back to school. They provide up to $4,000 for free tuition assistance! This program is only open to spouses of lower ranking military. You can check the website for exact qualifications. The MyCAA program has re-opened after working out the bugs and is now even easier for you to meet your career goals.

One school, which has been helping military spouses, veterans, and military members themselves to further their education since 2004, is the Martinsburg Institute. One thing that is great about this school is that they are EXTREMELY military friendly and have many great programs to check out. The best thing about this school is that they are already MyCAA approved. The hardest thing I have found with MyCAA is that the schools I was interested in were not yet approved by MyCAA so the fact that this school is...makes life a lot easier.

This is so great for military spouses because you can not only get financial assistance through MyCAA but in addition you can go to school online. Going to school online is the only option for me right now as my kids are little and daycare is expensive. For me, I think I would choose the Financial Management program because I am a huge Math Geek:)

So if you're looking to use your MyCAA money make sure you check out the Martinsburg Institute to see if there is a program for you.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

2011-08-31T14:43:00.003-04:00

EdenFantasys is such a great website with awesome customer service. They're packaging is discreet and shipping was so fast! Every time I get on their website I find something new I want :)

I am a raging chocoholic and one thing I've been dying to try from edenfantasys is the Sweet Heart Chocolate Box. This delicious kit comes complete with everything you need for a tasty and sensual night with your spouse. I love the way it's packaged as well because it comes in a heart which resembles a box of chocolates. It is very classy looking. This would make a great gift for Valentine's Day:)

Something else I've had my eye on is the Knead Me Massage Set from Jimmyjane. What is so neat about this little set is is that the candle is not just a candle but it's also useful for a massage. When you light the candle you let it burn for a few minutes then blow it out. After you've filled the room with the yummy scent you then can pour the 'wax' onto your partner and use it as a massage oil. How cool is that?! Also, in this set you get the Contour M Massager. This massager is great for those of us whose hands get tired after just a few minutes of massaging.

If my husband and I ever have the chance to go on a trip by ourselves the kit I would love to get is the Honeymoon Carry-On Bag. This is for those who are a bit more adventurous and comes with many things to accommodate that adventurous side including, taper candles, body paint, and handcuffs. All of the stuff comes safe in a discreet white bag complete with a lock.

Alright, I could go on forever about things I want but I guess I'll stop there and go ahead and get to the winner of my contest!!! I took all of your entries and put them into an excel document and used random.org to randomly select a winner. So without further ado....the winner is.....

KAE, the owner of the blog Anchor's Away.

Thanks to all who entered and I apologize for the delay in announcing the winner. Things were a little crazy with my hubby coming home but now I am back into a normal routine:)

KAE-please send me an email at hewearscombatboots@gmail.com so I can send you your gift card :)

Please

2011-08-24T23:10:00.002-04:00

Say a prayer for my family in the Bahamas as well as in the Carolinas. Also, say a prayer for everyone else who may be affected by Hurricane Irene. I'm so scared for family and ever for all of the people who this could ruin the lives of.

FREE $10 Credit to Rue La La

2011-08-19T13:17:00.001-04:00

So I got an email today saying that if you sign up to ruelala.com you can get a FREE $10 credit to use on any purchase just for signing up. You can sign up HERE.

Rue La La is an awesome site that offers different sales everyday starting at 12pm EST. They have all kinds of fun designer things for cheap from Melissa and Doug toys, Urban Decay Makeup, Vera Bradley, things for you home, art, shoes...just about everything. I loove this site!

Oh and if you haven't entered my $55 EdenFantasys give away then CLICK HERE to enter!! Ends August 23rd!

Keep Holding On

2011-08-18T06:16:00.000-04:00

It's been exactly 2 weeks since my husband left for this TDY. No, two weeks is not a very long time but when you're hardly getting any sleep it feels like forever. We still have about another week and a half left. It's 6am here and Little Miss was up at 4:45am screaming. I tried putting her back to bed several times, comforted her in every way I know how, tried letting her in bed with me...well I tried pretty much everything and after an hour of her screaming I gave in and we're now in the living room watching toy story 3. I let her stay up a little late last night thinking she'd sleep in...obviously that backfired. And of course she picks the one night where Little Man only woke up once to eat. I'm dead tired. It's been weeks since I slept more than five hours at night. I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. I can hardly stay awake most days and my patience wore out a long time ago. My kids deserve to have me when I'm at my best not when I'm this overly tired and impatient. I feel terrible for them. I know I am not the most pleasant person these days. I just miss my husband and I miss sleep. Little Miss is so sad without Daddy here. He is the one who helps her back to sleep in the middle of the night...not me. I feel like I'm losing it. Having him gone makes me appreciate him even more. I just want him back. This scares me so much because I'm terrified of a deployment. When he was deployed last year I stayed at my mom's house. It was still hard but I had help and a babysitter. I got to have breaks and time to de-stress. But here I have no family and only a handful of friends who I rarely see. This TDY is breaking me. I don't know how I could handle a deployment.

I Just Like Talking to You

2011-08-10T21:07:00.000-04:00

So my husband doesn't work again until monday. In case you didn't know he is on a TDY. He was out of the country but now is back in the US but in another state. I'm so frustrated. I've talked to him twice today and that's it. One of the times he was just skyping and talking to the kids and the second time was a little bit ago and he only talked to me for about 10 minutes before rushing to get off the phone to go eat. I miss him and I thought he was missing me so I don't understand why I'm now hardly hearing from him. I wait all day for a phone call or a text. I'm frustrated and overly stressed out with everything going on here without him and just want to know he's thinking about me. I want to know that he wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to him.

$55 Giveaway!!

2011-08-10T18:28:00.002-04:00

So I know a few weeks ago I mentioned a website called EdenFantasys. I placed an order and received it in a matter of a few days and was more than pleased with the quick shipments as well as the products that arrived. One of the things I loved was a game for couples called Cosmo's truth or dare. Hubby and I turned on some good music, had a glass of wine, and dove right in to this game. Even though we've been married for almost 3 years we still found things we didn't know about each other through the truth part of the game and the dare part...well that was just plain fun! I highly recommend this game to new couples or for those just trying to reconnect. We loved the game!

One of my favorite things we got was Doc Johnson's Motion Lotion in Passion Fruit. Used as massage oil it is so great. My husband gave me a very sweet back massage using this stuff and as you rub it in it heats up. Then after you rub it in you can blow on it and it will heat up again which makes for a pretty great sensation during a massage. I have an awful back so I'm so glad I found some massage oil that I love!

I am a chap stick snob so I was thrilled when I discovered this Kissing Balm in Honey Orange. Not only does it smell deliciously good but it makes my lips unbelievably smooth. I use this stuff almost every day and have fallen in love with it.

So now that I've told you about a few of the products I love it's time for you to get some for yourself! EdenFantasys is providing my blog with a $55 gift card that I'm going to giveaway to one of you!!

Here are the rules:

You MUST be a follower.

You MUST 'like' He Wears Combat Boots on Facebook.

You get one entry for those things^ Just leave a comment saying you are a follower and that you 'like' my FB page.

Extra entries(1 entry each):

-Tweet me saying you follow me on twitter @Lenapenaa

-Write a blog post about this contest linking back to this post(Please post a comment with your post's link)

-Leave a comment with a topic you would like me to talk about on my blog

So now that you know the rules let's get this party started!

Swagbucks

2011-08-08T20:11:00.000-04:00

So I've talked about this website before. It's called Swagbucks. Basically sign up and use it in place of google. Just by searching the web you can earn digital bucks called swagbucks. You then take those swagbucks and cash in for rewards(my favorite is the $5 amazon gift card).

You can also earn swagbucks through special offers, tasks, trade-ins, shopping online and many other ways!!

I have gotten around $300 in amazon gift cards from swagbucks...it's how I pay for Christmas every year.

Oh, and did I mention it's free to sign up? You can sign up by clicking here. AND use the code AUGUSTBONUS when signing up to start out with a bonus 50 swagbucks!

WWI: Week 3

2011-08-08T12:12:00.000-04:00

Last Week's Weight: 160
Today's Weight: 160 pounds
Total Lost since 7/25: 3 pounds
Next week's goals weight: 158

Last Weeks Goals:
Run 20 minutes 4x(Only ran once due to husband leaving for his TDY a week early)

Do belly dancing/zumba/or yoga ball exercises 4x for 35 minutes(Only did one day for 45 minutes)

This week's goals:
Do some sort of Cardio 3x for 35 minutes
Spend three mornings walking for 30 minutes

So I had another not so great week. My husband leaving really had an impact on my motivation. I'm having such a hard time. Hoping this week goes better. How did your week go?

Homesick

2011-08-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

I just heard from my husband. [We have iphones so even though he's in another country he was able to skype with me using a WiFi connection.] He is overworked. He's overtired. and he's severely homesick. Seeing my tough husband cry...was not easy. He's a wreck. But then again so am I and so are the kids. He misses us and we miss him. I guess his trip is awful and everything keeps going wrong. He hates that he has 3 more weeks of this. I wish I could take his pain away...heck I wish I could take my own pain away. He just left on Thursday and we are already broken down. Little Miss didn't fall asleep until a little while ago and I'm waiting up to talk to him again. Long day and long night. I just want my husband home. Who knew a TDY could be so hard? I certainly didn't.

How to Deal

2011-08-07T23:17:00.000-04:00

There are so many things you can do to help your children and yourself cope with your spouse being gone whether on a deployment or a TDY. What I've learned is that although there are things that help there are still going to be bad nights. As much as I try to take the roles of mommy and daddy...I'm not daddy and can never make up for him not being here. Trying to explain to a two year old that yes, daddy is gone but he will be back is near impossible.

Tonight was rough...every day has been rough since he left on Thursday. Little Miss doesn't want to eat or sleep. She just wants Daddy. She stares at his pictures and smiles. She constantly plays his voice(in her build a bear puppy) over and over. Little miss wants daddy and nothing I can do is going to take that feeling away. No ammount of snuggles, Dora, or sippy cups of milk will make it better. The only cure for her missing him is for him to come home. I wish I could fast forward time:(

WWI: Week 2

2011-08-01T09:44:00.001-04:00

Last Week's Weight: 163
Today's Weight: 160 pounds
Total Lost since 7/25: 3 pounds
Next week's goals weight: 158

Last Weeks goals:
Spend 20 minutes running 4x (only ran twice due to husband's work schedule)
Begin exercising with Yoga Ball for ten minutes 4x(Didn't do at all)

This week's goals:
Run 20 minutes 4x
Do belly dancing/zumba/or yoga ball exercises 4x for 35 minutes

So last week didn't go as good as I had hoped which is why I can't believe I lost THREE POUNDS! On Monday I had left over KFC for lunch and also splurged on a Baskin Robbins sundae which to my surprise was 1,330 calories!! For one sundae!! Had I known that I wouldn't have ate it but silly me didn't look it up until after I ate it. Although, I have to say it was delicious :) I have a strong sweet tooth and finally discovered something I can eat without ruining my whole day. They are 90 calorie Fiber One brownies. They are pretty good and fulfill my craving for sweets and chocolate.

Overall this week went okay as far as my calorie intake. A couple days I went over but for the most part I stayed under. On Saturday I was cleaning all day and just forgot to eat so at the end of the day I was trying to eat things to up my calorie intake because it is not safe for a BFing woman to have under 1500 calories and I was only at like 600. By the end of the day I ended up right around 1400 calories for my intake. I've been trying to stick right between 1500-1600 calories for my intake which leaves my NET calories right around 1000-1100. I've noticed my milk supply is still great so I'm thinking this is probably a good area to stay and after doing lots of research and talking to my doctor this seems to be what I will continue.

Since I've stopped drinking soda 8 weeks ago and have now been eating healthier and have cut out all eating out(we might do this as a special treat once a month) I've noticed I feel so much better. My mood has even drastically changed. I'm happier and healthier and it feel so good. I have so much energy for my kids. If you have not started the journey to a healthier lifestyle and want to make a change I highly suggest that you do it. It will change your whole life :)

[So I realize my before pictures from last week did not work. I fixed them and see them HERE]

So everyone how are you feeling? What is your weight? How much did you lose? Did you meet your goals?

Music Friday and a Little Zach Braff

2011-07-29T20:55:00.000-04:00

I kind of love Zach Braff. From Scrubs to the many movies he has been in. Garden State and The Last Kiss are two of my all time favorite movies and they are both starring Zach Braff. They also both have amazing soundtracks so for this music friday I'm going to share some of my favorite songs from those movies. Get your glass of wine and enjoy :)

and last but certainly not least...

Update on Little Miss

2011-07-28T20:18:00.000-04:00

I've blogged about Little Miss and her many struggles several times but if you're new here you can read my older posts to get caught up here, here, here, and here.

It's now been just shy of two months since Little Miss began speech therapy. She has learned a little bit of sign language and has started to use words. In the beginning it was rough and she was shy with her Speech Therapist but once she felt comfortable she began to participate. For several weeks when saying a word she would whisper it but finally she has began to speak aloud. She is showing improvement but still has such a long way to go. I've scoured the internet trying to find a reason for all of the delays Little Miss has had but can't find anything that has symptoms that fit her. She is shy, but very social. She is loving, cuddly, and very observant. She has a fabulous memory and is so smart! She outsmarts me daily and I am always shocked by how smart she really is. She understands everything I say to her. It's amazing how her brain seems to be working wonderful but her speech is lacking. It's a daily worry and concern for me. A part of me just wishes we had an answer to why she is delayed while another part of me doesn't want anything to be wrong with her. I want my daughter to not have to struggle. I can see the frustration in her face everytime she wants something but can't communicate to me what it is. It breaks my heart.

Little Miss has a follow up appointment with her doctor in a few weeks to re-evaluate her speech and development. I am nervous but also looking forward to it because I'm hoping to get some answers.

My Weight Loss Plan

2011-07-27T21:21:00.000-04:00

A couple people have asked so I thought I would lay out my plans for losing weight. To start, I think dieting is stupid. You have to change your lifestyle if you want to permanently lose weight. Dieting will only get you short term weight loss and you will just gain the weight back the second you stop 'dieting'. When you want to lose weight you have to re-vamp your life. Open your fridge and cabinets and take out anything fattening with a lot of calories. Go shopping and buy healthy fresh foods. It's about changing the way you eat. This doesn't mean never having foods you love but it's all about moderation.

For me, counting calories is the easiest way to keep track of what I'm eating. Now someone commented on my WWI post saying that I'm not eating enough calories because I'm Breastfeeding. Let me explain... There's something called your calorie intake and something else called your Net Calories. Your calorie intake is the amount of calories you consume. Net calories are the amount of calories you have after exercising and in my case breastfeeding. So when I say I'm limited to 1200 calories a day...I'm talking about my Net Calories. Because I am burning an extra 500 calories a day from breastfeeding I include that in my exercise so therefor that adds on extra calories I can consume. For a breastfeeding woman trying to lose weight it's best to consume between 1500-1800 calories(information via kellysmom.com). This way you continue to keep your milk supply but are still able to lose weight. For me I'm consuming anywhere between 1500-1700 calories depending on the day. To keep track of my calories I'm using a neat little app on my iPhone called My Fitness Pal.

My Fitness Pal is an awesome free app! Once you download it you enter in your weight, height, goals as well as other info about yourself. You then can create a user name and once your account is created you're ready to go! What I love about this app is that any food, vitamin, or beverage you can possibly think of this app has the nutrition facts for. Everything you consume you put into your diary. Every time you exercise you put in your diary. It is so simple and is excellent at keeping track of it. The app gives you all of the tools you need to begin to lose weight.

Something else super cool about this app is it shows the totals for the day(and week!). To the left is my totals for the day. It has my totals, goals, and how much I have left...seriously cool! It really helps to have it all broken down for me so I'm able to look at more than just calories but also at fat and sugars as well as calcium.

This is the main page for the app. It's a summary of my day today. Another super cool thing about this app if you can add 'friends' and keep each other accountable. you can see my news feed at the bottom which would be visible to anybody I add. So if you download this app add my as a friend. As you can see my user name is hewearscombatboots .

So along with counting calories something important to remember is just because something is under a calorie amount doesn't mean it's healthy. You also need to check the fat grams, sugars, etc. When I lost weight last summer I kept under 1200 calories consumed and less than 15g of fat per meal. Each meal I had was around 300-400 calories. Exercise is a key ingredient in weight loss though! You can't expect to lose weight without getting off the couch and getting moving.

The most important thing in my weight loss is support. Having a support system helps you to be able to stay focused and motivated.

Alright, I realize this post was super long winded so good for you if you made it this far!
So here is my plan of action to lose weight-

-Stay under 1200 Net Calories per day
-Go for a 25 minute jog 4 times a week
-Walk 3 mornings a week
-EAT HEALTHY!
- Continue drinking at least 67.6oz of water a day
-NO SODA(I'm 7 weeks without!)
-Resist my sweet tooth and eat fruit instead of sweets
-Stay positive
-NO Fast Food

Hope this helps some of you who maybe don't know where to start or just need a little help. I will be posting more tips on losing weight as time progresses. Good luck to all of you and I look forward to our weigh in on Monday!

Struggles

2011-07-26T20:00:00.001-04:00

There are so many things I've learned in the past couple of years and the most important one is take things as they come. It's amazing how when one not so great thing happen...well many more follow. They always say bad things come in threes and today that is proving true. Today was a rough day. I said goodbye to a girl I have been friends with since Little Miss was only four months old. She is one of my longest friendships at this duty station and I am so sad to see her PCS. I attended a going away lunch for her at Chili's with a lot of other great woman whom I have sort of lost touch with. It was so bittersweet. A rekindling of old friendships and saying goodbye to someone I hold dear to my heart. I am excited for her new adventures but afraid of not seeing her again. I promised myself I would not cry but it was inevitable and the tears poured out. Saying goodbye is always hard for me. I trust very few people and have a hard time letting people in. I don't throw around the word 'friend' losely so when I call someone that it means they are very important to me. Unfortunately saying goodbye is the norm in military life and it's something I'm going to have to learn to cope with.

The second of the bad things was noticed when my husband got home from work. Our water heater busted and began flooding our garage. We tried calling our landlord and going over to his house(he lives next door) but couldn't get a hold of him. I finally got a hold of his wife and she is sending him over. I bathe my kids every other night during the week and every night on weekends as we rarely leave the house during the week and tonight was bath night. Yay for stinky kids!

And no onto bad thing number 3. It's not that bad I guess since I knew it was coming eventually but my husband has to have hip surgery. This means he will be on bed rest for two weeks and on crutches and in physical therapy for four until he goes back to work. It won't be until September as he is heading on a TDY for 15 days to Alaska in a few weeks. Oh, and btw 15 days without my husband with both kids? Ha, it will be loads of fun!

The military life and any life for that matter can be hard sometimes. Things come up we don't expect and we have to just take the bad with good and deal with it. So raise a glass and let's toast to busted water heaters, stinky kids, surgeries, and spending too much time alone! Also, let's toast to having a house with a water heater, beautiful kids, and a husband who works so hard to support our families even if he has to spend time away from his kids! Even in the midst of bad we have true blessings to be thankful for!

WWI: Week 1

2011-07-25T13:32:00.001-04:00

Today is the first day of this weight loss journey. I downloaded an app to my iphone to track calories and discovered if I stick to 1200 calories a day I will lose 2 pounds a week hitting my goal by October 29. So here Goes.

My before Pictures:

Current Weight: 163
Size: 10
Goal Weight: 135
Total Weight Lost: 0
Next Weeks Goal Weight: 161

Goals This Week:
Spend 20 minutes running 4x
Begin execising with Yoga Ball for ten minutes 4x

Now it's your turn. Post a link to your blog displaying your goals, plan of action, and before pictures OR just comment with your weight this week and goals.

WWI Update

2011-07-24T18:44:00.002-04:00

WWI(Weekly Weigh In) Update.

So we were supposed to start weighing in on Wednesday but unfortunately I never made it to the doctor nor was I able to purchase a scale so we still start tomorrow! Post a blog post linking back to my blog with your weight and a before picture. Also include your goal weight and how you plan on acheiving it. I intend on posting pictures every monday along with my weight. It helps you all keep me accountable! I hope many of you will be joining me tomorrow! If you don't have a blog then just leave a comment with your starting weight and goal weight.

Don't forget there will be fun along the way so please join me! Send me an email if you want anytime at hewearscombatboots@gmail.com

Save Me From Myself

2011-07-22T22:30:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night...an awful dream that brought back awful memories from my teen years. It brought back all of my insecurities and made me feel so small. It brought back the teasing and the 'never being good enoughs'. It brought back the bullying and the awful death threats. It brought back the lies and the rumors. It brought back every awful feeling I've worked so many years to forget about.

Just when things in my life are going good and I finally feel happy all these awful things come back to haunt me. To make me feel undeserving of happiness. I have so many amazing things and people in my life right now and I can feel myself beginning to push them away. It's not something I want to do but it's just happening. I can feel myself falling into a hole that I can't seem to climb out of. This hole is deep and there is no rope there to pull me back out. I'm fighting so bad to keep this from happening but I can't. I feel so insecure. My husband has been so amazing and sweet in every way but even in the midst of a romantic night all I can think about is how fat I look and the awful things we went through a few months ago. My self esteem is in the toilet and I can hardly pay my bills. I wish I could just be happy because I have so many things to be happy about. The worst part of it is is that the worse I feel the more I hate myself for feeling so bad when things are so good...it's a vicious circle. Depression is something I fought for many years when I was young and it always creeps back up at the worst times. I wish I could just be normal. I wish I wasn't pushing away all of the people I love so much.

Need a little Spark?

2011-07-20T11:06:00.004-04:00

So today I'm talking about something a little taboo. So if you are looking for a conservative post...you can go ahead and click the X at the top right corner of this screen...if not..keep reading :)

We are military wives. We go months without our spouses and when we are together we are fighting to keep the spark alive at all times because we never know when our spouse is going to leave again. Something I firmly believe to be very important in a marriage is sex and in a military relationship it's something that you don't get to share that often compared to other couples. It's a way for two people to connect on a whole nother level. Without it, a marriage lacks intimacy. It's something so special for only you and your spouse. But even though sex is special and wonderful sometimes it needs a little spice to create excitement. So my question is do you need a little spark back in your relationship? Do you wanna try some new things? Want to create a sensual mood for a night of romance with your spouse?

If you answered yes to any of those questions well then I have an answer. There is this super awesome website called EdenFantasys. They specialize in selling sex toys, lingere, and well just about anything to spice up your sex life. I just placed my first order yesterday and had so much fun picking out the different things and browsing their website. I love the way their site is organized with an entire section for couples. They have tons of massage oils, candles, and romantic kits for couples. They also have storage containers to keep things out of sight and locked up which is great for couples with kids.

When browsing their website I found so many things I wanted. The only downfall was it seemed like a lot of the products I wanted were out of stock but given all of the publicity this website has received lately that is most cerntaintly understandable. It really didn't bother be too much as they have SO MUCH stuff on their website I wanted to try so I had no problem adding things that were out of stock to my wishlist for another day. One of those things is the Kneed Me Massage Kit. Massages are something I love to give and receive so this kit caught my eye right away. I can't wait until it is back in stock!

My box is supposed to be here Friday and I simply can't wait...and either can my husband.

So, place an order and plan a date night. Your spouse will thank you :)

[Your order will be delivered in a very discreet box so no need to blush when the mailman makes his delivery.]

Shop Smart

2011-07-19T12:27:00.000-04:00

So I've talked about this website before but I wanted to talk about it again because it's been a while. There is this really awesome site called Rue La La which offers designer items such as handbags, clothes, jewelry, home decor, and even vacations for a lot cheaper then you'd them elsewhere. Some of the brands I love that they'd offered are Urban Decay, Betsey Johnson, and Vera Bradley. To check it out... CLICK HERE.

Another site which is similar to Rue La La is called My Habit. It was created by Amazon.com so if you have an amazon account you can use that to sign in. The great thing about this site is that until August 1st you can use the code SUMMER25 to save $25 off any purchase and it includes shipping. Everyday at noon they have a new sale. To check it out CLICK HERE.

Let the Games Begin!!!

2011-07-18T13:57:00.000-04:00

I had some interest from you all in joining me in losing weight. I've got some fun things planned for this journey we will beginning together and am starting it all TODAY. So here is how it's going to go down...

To those of you who want to lose weight with me...

-'Like' my facebook page(link on the right side of my blog)
-Follow me on Twitter @LenaPenaa
-Every Monday it will be time to weight in. I invite you to comment on my Weekly Weigh In post with your current weight, last week's week, and how much you have lost in total. Also, tell me about how you're doing and feeling. I will have have questions and tips every week with my weekly weight in post.
-There will be PRIZES if I have enough people involved. I really want to help all of you stay motivated right along with me.
-Join me in weekly weigh ins on your blog. Post your weigh in picture on your blog and leave me a link in the comments on my WWI(Weekly Weigh In) post
-Leave a comment with your email address or shoot me an email at hewearscombatboots@gmail.com

So here goes nothing everybody, let's do this together!!
My first WWI post will be on Wednesday even though they will normally be on Mondays so keep a look out for that.

Guilty Pleasures..Music Friday

2011-07-15T22:35:00.000-04:00

In 7th grade a friend introduced me to this amazing band called Dashboard Confessional. Years and years later...10 years to be exact they are still my favorite band of all time. I have seen them in concert 4 times. Grab a glass of wine and enjoy...

and now another band I love...

well I think three songs are enough for tonight. :) Hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. More to come and keep checking my blog for updates on my weight loss journey. If you want to join me either tweet me @Lenapenaa , leave a comment, or email me at hewearscombatboots@gmail.com. I want us to be in this together and am planning some fun things for this journey to become a better me. So go buy some running shoes and get ready!

Shoe Memories

2011-07-12T10:43:00.000-04:00

Shoes. I LOVE shoes. Always have and always will. I have always been the girl who wore heels everywhere and had a million pairs in every color. I still have a million pairs but these days with two kids...I rarely wear them. Every time I walk into my closest I look at my shoe shelf of heels and wonder when I'll wear them again. It reminds me of the movie In Her Shoes. She has all these cute shoes just begging to be worn but never wears them.

I used to be cool. I used to dress cool and wear cool shoes. I used to do my hair everyday. Oh, how I miss the days of having time to make myself look and feel good. These days my hair gets thrown up in a bun, I put on as much makeup as I have time to apply, throw on some flip flops and I'm out the door. The adorable shoes to the left I bought a year ago April. They've been worn once. And to the right, I bought those when I was 5 months pregnant with Little Miss. I think I've worn them twice? Oh, and those lovely to die for purple shoes below...I wore those for my bachelorette party when I was 6 months pregnant[we got married at a courthouse but had a renewal of vows/reception when I was 6 months pregnant which is when I had my bachlorette party]. I danced until late into the night in those heels. I didn't care if my back was killing me with the extra weight from Little Miss in my belly. I was determined to maintain my 'cool' factor. These days my 'cool' is out the door.
After I had Little Miss I gave up on my appearance. In the first few months I only put on makeup to leave the house and rarely changed out of my baggy t-shirts, no bra, and no pants look. I was a wreck to say the least and gained a ton of weight after giving birth. It took me until her first birthday and my husband deploying before I decided enough was enough. I took his deployment as a chance to better myself. I worked my butt off and lost almost 30 pounds. I felt better than I'd ever had. I still had some weight to lose but overall was so much happier. Then I got pregnant again and now I feel like I'm back where I started. Because I'm breastfeeding I can't take anything to help my weight loss nor can I cut calories.
I am however eating healthier and will be joining a gym once we get paid. And the perk? My gym has free tanning :) So I can be tan and fit.

So here's to feeling good and taking charge of your weight! Anyone else want to join me on my journey? I'm hoping to do weekly updates like I did last summer.

Oh and I guess I should mention that I'm not cleared by the doctor to exercise since I'm only 5 weeks postpartum. My appointment is on the 20th.

Vacation

2011-07-10T13:10:00.000-04:00

Those two people to the left area very large part of my heart. My husband and Little Miss...They have been attached at the hip. This picture was taken on the pier on our vacation.

We spent the week with lots of family and friends. We relaxed and slept in. We spent days at the pool but unfortunately never went to the beach. It was a vacation we all needed and we got the chance to introduce Little Man to everyone. Everyone that met him fell in love with him just the way we did.

It has been a super busy week and we didn't get back until last night. I have some blog posts already typed up that I typed while on vacation that I'll post this week. Hope you all are doing great!

How to Travel With Kids: Roadtrips

2011-06-30T11:59:00.000-04:00

Over the years we have taken many trips with Little Miss. Her first plane ride was at 3 weeks old and her first road trip was just a few months later. Being a military wife traveling is something we have to do to see family. Our closest family is a ten hour drive and my hometown is an 18 hour drive. This will be our first trip with both kids and although I'm a little nervous about it I feel like I have a grip on how to make the trip smooth. So, I thought I'd share the things I've learned with all of you.

1. Be open minded. Understand that kids are unpredictable. You will have to stop at places you hadn't planned and will have to stop more often than planned. Be open to changing your schedule.

2. Plan your trip around your children's sleep schedule. We have driven overnight as well as left in the middle of the night. Our goal is to let our kids sleep in the car as much as possible. This avoids stops and headaches. Just make sure the driver is well rested before getting behind the wheel.

3. Be prepared. Have diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes ready in the car. You never know when a blowout poop could occur and I like to have these things stocked in the car just in case. This is great for the off chance you forgot to put some in the diaper bag.

4. Bring entertainment. We always have a bag or basket of Little Miss' favorite toys and books in the car for her. This works as well for once we reach our destination in case that place does not have toys. If you have a DVD player in your car make sure you have kids movies. You could also invest in a portable DVD player.

5. Have meals in the car. I love this because it occupies your and child saves you money! We always have fruit snacks, cheese cubes, pretzels...you name it. Finger foods are awesome in the car. For meals I usually prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There is tray made by Eddie Bauer we got at Target that hooks right to the car seat. Such a lifesaver on roadtrips!

6. Have learning time. Bring flashcards or practice colors by pointing out things around you. Be creative and have fun but educational time with your child.

7. If you're driving through the night or at naptime have your child's favorite bedtime things available. Little Miss has a blanket and teddy bear she won't sleep without and she loves to snuggle them in the car.

8. Plan ahead. Look up places to stop on your drive. Find parks or large rest areas where you can let your child run around and get energy out. Also, it's nice to have one stop be at a restaurant your child likes. We always have dinner at Outback on our drive because we all love the food and it gives us a chance to relax before jumping back in the car.

The TRUTH about Breastfeeding

2011-06-20T08:51:00.000-04:00

This is me. Two days ago at about 11 days post partum. As you can see I no longer look five months pregnant which is how I looked after giving birth this time around. I still have a little pooch hanging off my front but it's nothing like I had now two weeks ago. I am amazed at how quickly my stomach has went down and am looking forward to being thin again. Those who have been following me for a long time remember that last summer I worked hard to lose weight during deployment. I lost almost 35lbs and was down to 153 wearing a size 8. I wore a size 8 maternity jeans throughout my pregnancy but now that I've given birth I can't even get my size 10 pre-pregnancy jeans to button. I know I will be able to soon. I have also cut out drinking anything but water since giving birth which should help. I give all my thanks for my belly going down so fast to Breastfeeding.

When Little Man was born I held him right away and got to breastfeed. Breastfeeding just didn't work with Little Miss because I was uneducated and not as motivated. It was painful and I spent most nights crying as she ate because the pain was so severe. I gave up way too soon with Little Miss and still regret it to this day. With Little Man I knew I wanted to breastfeed from the time I read that positive pregnancy test. In his first couple day's of life I struggled to get him to latch correctly. The nurses helped and the day after we left the hospital(on his third day of life) I went to a La Leche League meeting and got tons of help there as well. Things got better and I attended yet another LLL meeting a week later. Thanks to the ladies at LLL and my wonderful nurses in the hospital breastfeeding is going pretty well. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's all rainbows and butterflies because it's not. Breastfeeding is hard and it's a skill like most things. You have to work on getting a proper latch and teach your baby what that proper latch is. It's not easy and is painful when you're learning but it is so rewarding. Knowing that I am feeding my son with the best and most natural milk I can give him...is amazing. This milk is made in my body especially for him. I am his sole provider of nutrients. It's an amazing feeling.

It's been two weeks to the day since Little Man joined this world and we began our breastfeeding journey. It's hardest at night when he and I are both tired. He almost never latches correctly at night which leaves me in pain. Nights are long since I am the only one who can feed him meaning I am the one up every couple hours. Getting up with Little Miss at 7am after only getting about 6 hours of interrupted sleep...is hard to say the least. Most days I can hardly keep my eyes open. I keep pressing on though knowing that breastfeeding is what I want to do and he won't wake up every couple hours forever(or in some cases me waking him up).

When I nurse Little Man during the day Little Miss gets jealous and tries to get me to do something I can't do while nursing. She then throws a tantrum. Times like that I feel almost guilty for taking time away from her but regardless I will not stop breastfeeding.

The bottom line is breastfeeding is HARD. It's time consuming. It's exhausting and sometimes painful. BUT it is the most rewarding way to feed your baby. It is so good for the mother as well as the baby. The bonding is unlike any other. It's not weird or gross. It is the reason we all have boobies:) They were made to feed babies.

Our Wonderful Kids(includes pictures)

2011-06-14T18:40:00.003-04:00

[Our handsome son the day after he was born-picture was taken by the hospital photographer]

I don't normally post pictures in order to maintain privacy but I just couldn't help myself in sharing a picture of our handsome son as well as a picture of Little Miss. These will most likely be the only pictures you ever see of someone in my family that is a full on face shot but I thought you guys might like to see them. Little Man is the most beautiful little boy and we are so in love. He rarely cries and loves to sleep. He would probably sleep through the night if I didn't wake him up to eat. Yesterday was his one week checkup with the doctor and he weighed in at 9lbs 6oz. He is a growing boy and gets chunkier with every feeding. The doctor said he looked healthy and was doing great. But, we are almost positive he has severe reflux just like his sister. He has been spitting up like crazy. I don't want to medicate him quite this young and unless it gets bad I will wait until his one month checkup in 3 weeks. It worries me that he is already showing signs of having reflux because I am now worrying if he will have developmental delays as well like Little Miss. If he does we will do everything we can to help him just like we have and continue to do with Little Miss. Beyond the possible reflux he is a champion breastfeeder. His latch his not always correct but we are working on it. He eats great and I am so thrilled. I began attending La Leche Leauge meetings and that is helping tremendously. I love breastfeeding and am so happy that it is working out better this time around. I am so in love with my Little Man :)

[Little Miss at 3 months old-picture taken by me]

Little Miss has now had 4 speech therapy sessions. She has begun to learn sign language as the therapist says it will help with her speech. She now uses the sign for the words 'more' and 'please'. We are working on many other signs as well. She also has learned to say 'Woof Woof' like a dog and 'Vroom Vroom' like a car. She is starting to try and repeat things that we say and is also trying to count. I am so proud of her and the progress she is making. I can tell it makes her happy as well. She is so much happier these days(although she is still a 2 year old so she still throw tantrums). Things are really going great for her and she just learns more everyday.

I'm not sure if I've mention this before but my husband has been doing honor guard. He agreed to do it for six months and will go back to working as a crew chief in September. Yesterday, he went into the crew chief office for the first time in a long time and found out he is next to deploy which means as soon as he finishes out his time in honor guard he will be deploying. I was not expecting that at all but I guess you never really do. Little Man won't be but a few months old and Little Miss will be old enough to sort of understand. During the last deployment when Little Miss was one year old she would wake up almost every night having night terrors. It was rough on her. I'm not looking forward to doing this again but I know it's going to happen so many more times before we are done with this military life. I guess I just got so caught up in the wonderful things happening right now that I forgot about deployments and all of the hard stuff that comes along with this life. I love my husband and don't ever want to be apart but it's something we have to do and I know we will get through it.

My husband took up a second job and his first shift is tonight. It's my first night along with both kids and it's surprisingly not so bad...yet. Little Man is napping in his swing and Little Miss is coloring. I almost can't believe I have time to blog. But I'm glad I did because I have missed it so much and really wanted to give you all an update. I really hope to be back to blogging daily in the next couple weeks. Hope you all are doing great and even though I have not been commenting much I have been reading your blogs:)

Our Birth Story

2011-06-09T17:44:00.001-04:00

At 6am this morning we were anxiously awaiting a nurse to bring us back to begin my induction. Sitting in that waiting room I kept rubbing my belly amazed that when I leave this hospital I would no longer have my giant belly but instead a handsome little boy who is ours to snuggle and love. After what seemed like forever, my husband and I were taken back and not long after I was hooked up to monitors and by 7:30am they had started my IV for pitocin to get my labor started. My nurse, Danielle, was a young blonde military fiancé. Her husband is army special forces stationed at the same base we are. She was so professional yet so personable at the same time. There were several mistakes made by the hospital I delivered my daughter at and it resulted in me having a terrible delivery and a long healing process. Danielle, as well as my doctor, were set on proving to me that this time and this hospital... It would be different. From the start Danielle made me feel comfortable and safe in her care. I was very nervous due to the awful experience from my first delivery but she made me forget the nerves quickly.

Danielle's focus was making sure I was comfortable and that the baby was going to come out quick but safe. About 8:30 my doctor came in to break my water. Contractions were still bareable at that point but got strong fast and by 10am I had my epidural. Once it took effect I was in such a state of relaxation. It felt amazing. By noon I was 6cm dialated. I called my mom who was staying at our house with Little Miss and told her it was time to come. I also called one of my friends who was going to watch Little Miss while I delivered. Everyone got to the hospital and by 1pm I was nearly 8 cm. My friend ended up staying in the waiting room with Little Miss instead of going to her house since everything seemed to be going so fast. I began pushing and in just 5 short pushes I delivered the most handsome baby boy I've ever seen. He joined this world at 1:53pm weighing 9lbs 5oz and was 20 3/4inches long. They placed him right on my chest and I got to hold him there for about 20 minutes. He was so sweet and just laid there looking at me listening to my voice. I cried and told him over and over how much I loved him. It was such an overwhelming time. Eventually they took him from me to be cleaned off and measured. My mom brough Little Miss in the room and she just stared at him not really sure what to think. My mom took Little Miss home after about an hour and we were then alone with our new baby boy.

My husband and I could not stop staring at him because he was just so handsome. He is the most amazing little boy and he is so loved by all of us. It has been a busy week but a great one. We got to come home Tuesday evening and ever since have been relaxing and enjoying time together with our family. It has been an exhausting week but we are adjusting well. Little Man sleeps really well and is breastfeeding well too. He is such a sweet little boy and I am just so in love with him. Little Miss is starting to get used to him although she still sort of ignores him. Little Miss has had a fun week with my mom though. They went to the pool and have been coloring in Little Miss' new coloring books non stop.

My mom leaves on Saturday and my husband is off until the eighteenth so I may be taking a small break from blogging. I don't have near as much free time as I used to but I'm sure I'll adjust quickly and be back to the blog world. You can check my facebook page or twitter for updates until then.

Hope you all are doing well!!

At the Hospital Right Now!!

2011-06-06T08:30:00.000-04:00

That's right I'm at the hospital hooked up to pitocin and just had my water broken:):) follow me on twitter for updates on baby boy @Lenapenaa

Won't be long now!!!

2 Days Until It's Eviction Time

2011-06-04T08:28:00.001-04:00

TWO DAYS until I get induced. In just two short days I will be looking into the eyes of one of God's most beautiful creations. A sweet, handsome little person who is all mine to love and bring up in the best way I know possible. I am so excited to meet this little man who has been created in my belly and whom I have been carrying for nine months.

It's amazing the love you have for your kids. I never understood unconditional love until I had kids. The love I have for them is so strong and overwhelming it brings tears to my eyes. It's a love that consumes every bit of you and something that will never die. No matter what mistakes my kids make in life or what path they choose I will love them and support them. I will guide them as best as I can but most of all...I will love them forever and ever. If they need me I will be there. When I say my kids are my world...it's no exaggeration. Everything I do is for or because of them.

From the time I was little I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Most kids dreamed of going of to college while I dreamed of getting married and having babies. This is the part in my life that I couldn't wait to start and now that I'm here, living it, it's better than I could have ever expected. It's tough sometimes but I wouldn't change anything for the world and being a mamma is the best job I could ever ask for. While I was driving the other day a song came on the radio and the lyrics made me think of my babies and moved me to tears. It is a beautiful song and exactly how I feel about my kids.

"It hurts my heart to see you cry. I know it's dark, this part of life. Oh, it finds us all and we're too small to stop the rain. Oh, but when it rains I will stand by you. I will help you through. When you've done all you can do, you can call me. And I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight. I will hold you tight and I won't let go."

"I won't let go"-Rascal Flatts

I try not to take little moments with Little Miss for granted. She is growing up so fast so I'm trying to soak in every minute. Last night we were out late at a friend's house and she fell asleep in the car. My husband carried her in and sat on the couch with her while I put new sheets on her bed(hers were in the wash) and they both fell asleep. It was so precious. It reminded me of when she was a baby, she would always fall asleep on him. I'm so glad I have a husband who love our kids as much as I do and shows it. There is so much love in our house for our kids... even our dog loves them.

Beauty in the Breakdown

2011-06-03T08:28:00.000-04:00

Last night, I broke down. I hit rock bottom. I let my hormones get the best of me. I cried, I sniffled...my heart hurt. I'm not even sure what sparked it all but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

In just 3 days I will be in the hospital giving birth to my second precious baby. Before I continue I want to preface and say that I love my baby boy and I am more than excited to meet him on Monday. He is a blessing and I would not have it any other way. I love being a mom and am overjoyed at the fact I get to love on another little person and teach them about life.

I'm stressed. I'm worried. I'm guilty. For two years it has been me and Little Miss together everyday. We are almost joined at the hip. She is my other half and when I do spend time away it's no more than a few hours. When I'm without her I miss her like crazy. She consumes all of my thoughts and everything I do is for her. Monday morning I have to leave her to go to the hospital to deliver my precious baby boy. I will be gone for 2-3 days(if everything goes smoothly...I was in the hospital for 5 days with Little Miss because things did not go smoothly). I won't be able to kiss her goodnight or see her sleepy eyes in the morning. We won't be able to play or snuggle or share a snack. We won't be doing sidewalk chalk or coloring in coloring books. I realize to some I sound ridiculous because it is only a few days. Most people take vacations without their kids. But I don't. I have never spent a night away from her. I am having major anxiety and guilt over being without her. I am so afraid she will think I've abandoned her even though I know her two year old mind is not capable of feeling such. I'm so afraid I will come home and she will be upset with me...not only for being gone but for bringing home a new baby who will need my attention. I'm afraid she'll feel replaced. I'm afraid she'll think I love her less.

I hate feeling this way. I should be so happy right now and excited but instead this anxiety and guilt is consuming me. Last night in the midst of my ugly crying I called my mom. She assured me what I'm feeling is normal and when I meet my baby boy everything will change. My heart will grow and I will have even more love to give to both of my babies. She assured me that Little Miss will need to adjust for a few weeks but once she does she will love her little brother and that this little brother will make her so happy in the end. My mom said I'm giving her the gift of playmate and a best friend.

I know my mom is right. I know everything will be okay. I'm not sure why all of this is consuming me right now and I wish I could make it all go away. I have so much to do this weekend to prepare for baby boy and am trying to focus on that in hopes I can forget about all of these worries. I really cannot wait to see my baby boy's sweet face and for our family to grow a little bigger. Babies are so amazing.

Target and why I love it

2011-06-01T20:17:00.000-04:00

From the time I was young I remember my mom taking me to Target. We would always get Icee's and a popcorn to enjoy while we shopped. I never remember leaving that store without my mom and I spending at least a hundred bucks. We would walk aisle after aisle admiring cute dishes, trendy clothes, and all of the neat household items. It was always such a fun mamma-daughter time for us and I loved going. We always walked out of Target with huge smiles because we had gotten treasures that we loved and usually for a great price! They always have great sales and amazing clearance. Well today just further proves why I love Target. I have been needing to purchase the rest of the stuff I need for baby boy and found today to be the perfect opportunity. They also had an awesome sale on P&G products so I stocked up on toilet paper, detergent, and other household items I won't want to run out to get after the baby is born. Here is what I got:

1 Halo Sleep Swaddler

1 Eddie Bauer High Chair/Shopping Cart Cover

1 3pack of Graco sleep n plays

1 Moby Wrap

1 Carters Baby Blanket

1 Olive Oil

1 Vegetable Oil

1 Johnsons Nighttime baby lotion

1 Johnsons Nighttime baby wash(came with free small size of baby wash)

1 big pack of Tide Stain Release

1 Downy Fabric Softener

1 64 load Tide Free and Clear

1 64 load original Tide

2 Charmin Sensitive 18-packs

2 packs of Charmin Freshmates

1 Boudreaux's Butt Paste

1 2pack of Baby Aquaphor

Original price for all of this you ask?????

$209.55

How much did I pay???

$129.42

:):):):)

Now I realize this isn't as good as some could have done but I was lacking some coupons and items like the moby wrap($42.99) was not on sale. I have to say I made out pretty good considering the original price of just the baby items I needed was $116.97. So now check out your Target ad and gather up your coupons and head to Target for some fun and saving money:)

Baby update: I'm feeling awful today and have been having mild contractions all day long. Tomorrow is my pre-induction appointment as well as Little Miss' first day of speech therapy. Going to be a long day tomorrow but I'll update on the baby soon I promise!! Hope you all are having a great week!

Memorial Day Weekend and a Baby?

2011-05-31T12:16:00.001-04:00

This weekend was just what our family needed well except for my husband having to work on Saturday. He was lucky enough to get Sunday and Monday off though(he has only had 3 days off in like a month and a half). Saturday my husband cooked his famous chicken enchiladas while we listened to Mariachi music. Little Miss danced through the living room and I bounced on my exercise ball while the delicious smells of dinner filled our house. Husband made me a virgin strawberry margarita and even heated up tortilla chips in the oven to eat with salsa. We sat at the table for the first time in a long time and all 3 of us ate together. It was such a great and yummy dinner!! After dinner we put Little Miss to bed and cuddled on the couch while watching movies. Sunday morning husband got up with Little Miss and let me sleep in until 10am! I have not slept that late in so many months I can't even remember the last time. After I got up we put Little Miss for a nap and after she woke up we headed to the pool. It was so nice out and the water felt great on my ever growing preggo body. We spent about an hour there before Little Miss decided it was time to leave. We spent the rest of the evening home relaxing as a family. Yesterday we headed to zoo in the morning because military and dependents got in free :) It was so hot but so much fun!! We fed the giraffes which Little Miss thought was absolutely hysterical. She loved the giraffe's big tongue. After two hours of intense heat my toes looked like sausages and my ankles like watermelons. We were all worn out and Little Miss passed out the second the car began to move. When we got home we put Little Miss for a nap and my husband offered to stay home with her and let me go to the pool by myself for an hour to read and relax. Unfortunately, when I got there the pool was closed so I headed back home.

When I got back home I laid down in bed and suddenly felt wet almost like I had peed myself although I knew I hadn't. I smell the liquid and it was odorless like water. I bounced on my ball for a little bit and then noticed more leaking fluid. I laid down and ate and enchilada and waited. Right after the first discovery of fluid I began having contractions roughly about ten minutes apart. After two hours I decided to call the doctor. The only reason I did was because it could have been my water breaking or leaking amniotic fluid and I didn't want to risk infection. She told me to take my time getting ready and head into L&D. After my best friend got here to watch Little Miss we were off the hospital. I was so nervous and feeling anxious because I really wanted to wait to have him until my mom gets here on Sunday...or basically until my induction on Monday. When I got there they tested the fluid and decided it was not my water breaking and didn't seem concerned. They checked my cervix and said I was 3cm dialated and 80% effaced which is a big jump from being barely 1cm and 50% effaced(which I was last Wednesday and have been for over a month). Because I had made progress from my appointment they kept me monitored for two hours then checked me again. I made no progress in the two hours so they sent me home. I have to say I was relieved because I have childcare set up for Little Miss on Monday and will have my mom here so I'm glad I did not go into active labor last night. They did say they doubt I will make it until Monday though. I have my pre-induction doctor's appointment on Monday so I'm curious to see if I am any more dialated.

Really hoping Little Man stays in until my mom is here!! Hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend:)

She's Perfection

2011-05-30T07:28:00.000-04:00

In my eyes as well as my husband's eyes Little Miss is Perfect. She is beautiful in every way. She has curly blonde hair and bright, big blue eyes. She is loving and sweet. She gives hugs and kisses without being asked and loves to laugh and smile. Her smile could light up a room. Her name means "the Bright One" which is exactly what she is. She is the sunshine of our lives and brings joy to anyone who meets her. My love for her is overwhelming and cannot be measured because it is so great.

On Friday I was told that she is not perfect...that she is struggling and behind in her speech. Very behind. She is at a 10 month level in speech. The brightside? She is at a 28 month level in understanding. To me, none of this matters. She is still PERFECT to me and I will do whatever it takes to help her get help. She will now be going to speech therapy twice a week for 30 minutes each time. Friday was her evalutation.

I keep wondering and worrying. I wondering if there is a deeper reason for why my Little Miss has been so delayed. Her blood tests came back normal in everything they tested . The doctor says that we should go forth with speech therapy and bring her back in 2 months to see him and we'll take it from there. I'm a mom and I can't help but worry about her. I often feel guilt wondering if it's my fault which I know I shouldn't do but it's hard not to feel that way. I love Little Miss with every ounce of myself and want nothing but the best for her in life. I just want her to be happy and seeing her get frustrated because she can't communicate with me is so hard. I wish I could just take it all away and make it all better. I am praying for progress in speech therapy and hoping that it's the answer we're looking for...